Lost Love
by Clover64
Summary: When the Exile loses the one she loved, will she be able to get on with her life or will the weight of his death destroy what little control she has left? Will she risk losing everything and everyone that she loves...for revenge? Mical&Exile pairing
1. Chapter 1:Unable to Let Go

**A/N: I know I should be working on the other fics but I came up with this idea and I just thought it was so great that I had to write it down! I really hope you like this fanfic as I am working really hard on it. Please review if you read this because why read it if you aren't going to review it? It takes just a couple seconds! Every review i get helps so please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR I or II. Nor do I own Mical or any of the others characters...but one day...**

**Chapter 1: Unable to Let Go**

_He smiled at her and her heart skipped a beat. The man then bowed curteously and stepped forward. She thought he looked vaguely familiar but she could not remember if she had even ever met him before. She surely would have remembered such a handsome and chivalrous man._

_"I am a historian and scientist working for the Republic, although I'm certain my contemporaries would judge me more historian than scientist." His accent added more flavor to the words as he spoke._

_"What are you doing here?" She said it a little more sharply than she had intended to but he seemed not to notice._

_"Like you, I was searching for some trace of the Jedi. I had heard mention that one of the Jedi masters had gone there but I found no trace of them." he answered._

_He looked so familiar... "Have we met before? You look familiar..."_

_"Um...I'm certain that in your many travels you have seen many people. Faces tend to blur together after a time." The man said a little too quickly. Amira Darrah decided not to press on the matter. After all, she had just met this man...she had no right to know his personal past._

_"Well, I will be going now..." She said as she began to turn away._

_"It seems our goals are compatible, if you'll have me, I would like to join and help you in your quest." The man looked at her expectantly. Atton twitched slightly to her side and she could hear a small conversation going on between Atton and Mira._

_Atton turned to face the young man and stood taller, more menacing. "We're full up already."_

_Amira didn't even have to look to know that Mira was rolling her eyes. "You look capable and we could use all the help we can get."_

_The man smiled and Amira couldn't help but notice his adorable dimples. This guy was gorgeous, no doubt. She couldn't understand why Atton was so opposed to him...she guessed that she would find out eventually..._

_"Wait." Amira ran up to the blonde haired man before he could head back to the Ebon Hawk. "What is your name?"_

_Smiling, he answered warmly, "Mical."_

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Amira had been having these dreams for the past couple of days. Each day they got stronger and more vivid. The more vivid ones hurt the most. She didn't want to think about him anymore...she couldn't bear to see his picture or remember him. It just reminded her of how she had failed him. She had failed the one person that she had ever loved...and it had cost him his life.

Nights lately had been full of dreams and memories. Some were good, others were ones that should best be forgotten. Being a Jedi, Amira should have let the anger and grief go...but she couldn't. She couldn't let it go because letting it go would be admitting to her failure. It was her fault he had died. Others had tried to tell her otherwise, but she knew. She could see it in the eyes of those who were her friends. Those who loved and cared for her...and would lie to her to protect her.

The Dantooine Enclave would come alive in a few hours, as it always did, and it would be bustling with Jedi, young and old. Yet with all the Jedi...there would always be a hole, a gap. A gap that could never be replaced nor filled. They all had lost a powerful and wise Jedi Master. The crew of the _Ebon Hawk_ had lost a friend, the padawans in teh enclave had lost a teacher and mentor, and she had lost her husband.

Gripping the blanket that covered her, Amira dragged it with her as she got up from the bed and walked slowly over to the closet. Opening it up, she saw many articles of clothing, mostly robes. Most were hers, the rest were Mical's. She couldn't bring herself to throw away the last items that connected her to the one she loved. Her heart pained everytime she opened that closet and saw that none of his clothes were missing. Actually, that wasn't true. One robe was missing.

The robe he had died in. She had asked Bao-Dur to take it away...so she never had to look or think about it again. If she ever saw the bloodied thing, she knew she would be sick. But thinking about him nowadays was still too painful. The memory was still too fresh in her mind. Everywhere she went, anything she did, reminded her of him. Her hands shook as she put on her robe and closed the closet door.

Stepping out into the main hallway filled her with a sense of duty. Amira was still a Jedi and she still had a job to do. Although most were still sleeping, sounds filled the enclave's corridors. Sounds of birds singing and the wind blowing through the tall, ancient trees of Dantooine. Her steps echoed and bounced off the lifeless walls of the enclave. A quiet reminder that she would always have herself to count on. She had failed once, she would not do so twice.

A sound to her right made her flinch slightly. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed the young apprentice watching her from behind the pillar. Without turning around, Amira waved for the apprentice to come out from where she was hiding. The small child slinked silently out from behind the safety of the pillar and matched Amira's stride immediately after.

"Forgive me, Master Darrah. I am sorry to be up so early but-" she began.

"You couldn't sleep." Amira finished with a sad smile. "It is alright, I couldn't sleep much either."

"Why couldn't you sleep?" The young, wide-eyed girl asked innocently.

"My mind is restless, I suppose." She didn't think it appropriate to explain why her mind was so restless to the young girl. "And you?"

The girl bowed her head slightly, eyes looking toward the ground. "I...I miss my Master."

Amira looked at the child tenderly. This was Mical's apprentice. She had seen her a couple of times, but the times she had seen her, the child had been so full of happiness and energy. Now she was miserable...and again, it was her fault.

"Selena, I know you miss Master Mical terribly...truth is, I miss him too." Selena looked at her, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "But you must learn to let go...the grief will pass with time."

"I know, Master Darrah. I just..." Selena's black hair ran into her eyes and she brushed it aside. "...feel responsible. I think it was my fault. Maybe he left because I was a bad student-"

Amira's heart clenched with guilt. This innocent child felt responsible for her crime. "It was not your fault. Do not ever think that it is. Do you understand?"

Selena was taken aback by the anger that was in the words, but she quickly recovered. "Yes, Master Darrah. I understand.But...I don't understand one thing."

"Yes? I'm listening." The two continued to walk side by side in silence for a moment before Selena finally spoke up.

"Who killed him? Who would want to kill my Master? He was such a good person and now he's dead because someone wanted him dead. Who was it?" The words tumbled out of her mouth in a waterfall of questions.

Every 'killed' and every 'dead' was like a slug to her stomach. Taking a silent breath, Amira tried to remain calm. Every emotion inside her was grief...she wanted no more than to cry and cry until all the unshed tears were out. Selena looked up at her...a couple of tears had escaped her eyes. Amira gently wiped them away and then leaned down close to the child.

"I don't know." Was the only answer she could find.

"Who will be my Master now?" Worry coated the words as she spoke them.

"I will." The child ran into her open arms and began weeping. "I'm sorry, Selena. You just go on and cry all you want. I am so sorry."

"It...it isn't your fault either, Master Darrah." Selena said through the tears.

_If only you knew...if only you knew. Force, I miss you, Mical. I miss you._ She thought silently.

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! No flames please as I am trying to improve and I am writing this for all your viewing pleasure so encouraging reviews work a lot better!**


	2. Chapter 2:The Beginning of a Broken Path

**A/N: I am so happy that I got such positive feedback! I thank everyone for their kind reviews! I'm glad you all are enjoying it and I hope that I continue to do justice to the characters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KOTOR I or II. I wish I did, but alas, I don't.**

**Chapter 2: The Beginning of a Broken Path**

_She paced nervously in front of him, her brown hair bobbing up and down. He stood his ground, not flinching or moving. This made her even more nervous. Sometimes she wished that he would show some anger. She had just told him that she is leaving to go on a dangerous mission...and he does nothing but stand there. The former exile couldn't take it anymore._

_"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" Amira asked, frustrated._

_His eyes didn't follow her pacing, they merely looked straight ahead. A sign that he was deep in thought. "What do you want me to say?"_

_"I don't know...I just," she sighed angrily. "Do you have to be so damn reasonable? Aren't you a tiny bit upset?"_

_"Yes. I am displeased but..." He cleared his throat, "I don't understand why you're going. No one has asked this of you...certainly not I."_

_So he was upset! She knew Mical well enough now that she could tell when he was angry. Whenever he said the word 'displeased' that was the equivalent of extremely upset. He had said it a couple of times, but it was never directed at her. Now he was displeased with her. Suddenly, she felt a great sense of guilt. Why was she leaving him in the first place?_

_"Carth asked me," Mical opened his mouth to say something but she quickly cut him off, "Well, not exactly. But with his eyes."_

_"You're leaving based on what you read in his eyes?" Mical collapsed into a nearby seat. "I don't get it, Ami."_

_Mical's eyes were filled with concern. "You remember that conversation I had with him back on Telos? He talked about his relationship with Revan. The whole time his eyes were sad, dead. It was like he wasn't completely there. The only time he smiled was when he was telling me about the good things she had done. I knew Revan, Mical. Maybe I'm doing this for Carth, maybe for Revan...but I sure as hell have to do this for myself."_

_"I see. So you are willing to forsake all you have here because of your sense of loyalty to Revan?" Mical said solemnly._

_"Revan saved my life numerous times during the war; I never once paid her back for those times. You owe her too, Mical. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here," She sat down beside him and curled up closer to him, "With you."_

_Mical shook his head. "I don't want you doing this, Ami. You leave and I don't know if I'll be able to protect you out there. If you get hurt out there..."_

_"I won't, I promise." Amira said strongly. Mical did not look convinced._

_"You are a strong woman, but whatever Revan went out to fight was obviously a powerful and deadly force to be reckoned with." Mical grabbed her hands gently. She pulled them away and stood up defiantly._

_"You think I can't handle myself? Is that it? Let me remind you that it was I who-" she began angrily._

_"I am afraid of losing you, Amira." Mical said softly as he stood up and faced her. "I love you. I'm asking you this because I am afraid. I don't want you to go. Please...stay."_

_Amira was touched by his show of affection. She knew that he didn't want her leaving but she had to do this. There was no other way around it. "I can't."_

_Mical put his hands around hers. "I understand, I don't think that this is a wise choice, but it is your choice."_

_"You can't come with me." Mical's eyes once again were clouded with worry and concern._

_"What?" Mical whispered._

_Amira swallowed. "You can't come with me, Di. You just can't. It would put you at too much risk-"_

_"So let me get this straight: it is alright to put yourself in danger but it isn't alright for me to protect the woman I love? Is that it, Amira?" Mical said, his voice escalating in volume. She knew he wouldn't be happy with this decision, she didn't know how angry he would be._

_"That isn't the case at all..." She mumbled. His words did make sense to her, though. What he had said was true. Dammit, he was too right for his own good._

_"Than explain to me why I can't accompany you. Are you bringing anyone at all?" He questioned._

_"No." Mical opened his mouth to protest but she put her finger on it. "I am going alone. I promise you that I'll be ok."_

_Mical shook his head again. "No, Amira, no! This is too dangerous. Please, don't do this."_

_"I'm sorry, Mical." He turned away. She could sense the conflicting emotions inside her husband. Not all of them were pleasant either. She placed her hand on his shoulder. _

_"Go." He simply said. She knew this was hard for him, so she quietly left, praying that he would forgive her for her rash actions._

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"Is something wrong? You seem troubled this morning." Visas' gentle voice broke her out of her thoughts. She looked at the miraluka respectfully.

"It's nothing."

"You are lying, Amira. What is wrong?"

Amira smiled, although her heart was still crying. "I had another dream."

"About Mical?" Visas asked although she already knew the answer. Amira nodded her head. "I know you are finding this a difficult time but you must let go of your grief and anger. Both are paths to the darkside, you know this."

"I know. I can't." She could see the condescending look that Visas was no doubt giving her. The miraluka was brave, intelligent, and wise but she knew nothing about love. Especially the love Mical and her had shared.

"I know you two were close, but he is in a better place now. He had accomplished what he had set out to do. He had helped rebuild the Order." Visas said, trying to comfort her companion.

"You are right. I just need...time." Her hand reached up and covered her mouth to silence a cry that would have escaped. Time wouldn't heal what has happened, time wouldn't soothe her throbbing wounds, and most importantly...time would not bring back Mical.

"Perhaps you should speak with another Jedi about your dreams. Perhaps they can explain to you what I cannot." Visas suggested.

_They all think I'm overreacting. They don't know anything about me...they have no clue how in love we were. They don't know about the wedding, either. They know nothing._ She thought bitterly to herself.

"I will see you later, and I will consider what you've said." Amira headed down the hallway towards the courtyard entrance. Near the entrance was the speeder garage. She carefully took the speeder to the courtyard and sped off into the distance.

Several minutes later she arrived at her destination, the grove's ancient ruins. Turning off the speeder, she got off and walked into the center of the broken ruins. She knelt down and took a couple of cleansing breaths. Closing her eyes, she began to meditate. This was the only place now that she could find a small amount of peace. The Force flowed strong here and she immersed herself in it, trying to drown her memories and pain.

"I see you have found my grove." An accented voice called out to her.

"Master Juhani, it is a pleasure seeing you again." Amira said cheerfully. If Amira had learned one thing from the Jedi, it was how to put up a false facade.

"As is seeing you again, Master Darrah. How are you doing this morning?" Juhani asked as she took a kneeling position adjacent to Amira.

_Ironic, the one time I want to be alone and someone wants to bother me with trifle matters._ "I am doing well. And you?"

"Same as always. I heard about-"

"Yes, I know. We all feel his loss and we will miss him." Amira said it the way she had when she practiced in front of the mirror.

"We are away from the Council's eyes. You can tell me how you really feel. I know that you are upset...I know not why you are more upset than the others. My theory is that you felt more for him than anyone knew." Amira opened her mouth to protest but simply shut it again. She was sick of lying to everyone. "I am right, there is no need to deny it nor confess it. We shall keep this conversation between us." Juhani rose and left.

Amira never understood that Cathar woman, but it would seem that she had underestimated her and her connection to the Force. She had read her like an open holonovel. But it was no matter, everyone would eventually find out. They always did. Her heart ached and she felt as if there was something that she could do to heal it...but she knew not what...

**A/N: REVIEW! Please and thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3:Uncontrolled Emotions

**A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I appreciate every one of them! I hope you enjoy this new chapter! BTW, I do appreciate any constuctive critisism or ideas for the story so...y'know, drop me a line sometime!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters...except Mical(I own him...he's my Jedi love slave!)**

**Chapter 3: Uncontrolled Emotions**

_Space travel was never one of Amira's favorite things to do. In fact, there never had been a time when she liked it. Space was cold and the ship wasn't the largest vessel, which made Amira feel confined and cramped. Normally during transit, Amira would spend her time in the cargo hold training or practicing her Force powers. Today was different, however, because on her way to the cargo hold, she noticed Mical kneeling on the ground._

_Panic set in, thinking he was hurt or ill she ran in. Startled, Mical stood up. "Something wrong?"_

_"Um...no, of course not. I just saw you on the ground and I thought-" She could feel her cheeks heating up as she began to blush._

_"Your concern is noted. I am fine." He turned around and began working on some medical machine._

_Amira tapped him gently on the shoulder. "What were you doing, anyway?"_

_"Sometimes I like to simply close my eyes and listen. It is quite relaxing." He answered with a smile._

_"Could you teach me how to do it?" Amira asked quietly. Of course she knew how to do it, but it gave her an excuse to talk to him and be in his presence, which was always soothing. He had a certain vibe around him, calm and serene._

_"Of course, it would be my pleasure." He said happily. Kneeling to the floor again, both Mical and Amira began meditating._

_Amira felt as if the silence was deafening. Opening one eye, she looked at the man kneeling beside her. She continued to probe her mind, trying to think where she had seen him before. "Are you sure we haven't met before."_

_The blonde man sighed deeply. "You are correct. I have not been entirely open to you about my past. If I look familiar to you it is because we met, only briefly, at the Enclave on Dantooine many years ago. "He paused, reminiscing. "You taught us the ways of the Force, how to hear it sing within others. You were different; we could all feel it. And I knew that if I was to have a Master, I would want it to be you...and then you went to war, many Jedi went to war, and the Jedi Council proclaimed that you were Jedi no longer. I knew then that if you did not want to be a Jedi then you must be correct. I wished to follow your path."_

_"I...I'm sorry my actions ruined your chance of becoming a Jedi." Amira replied sincerely._

_"No, it was my choice. Sometimes I wonder about my choices, though." He said sadly. "You know that it is possible to forget the Force, especially if you never had much training with it in the first place. But I never felt the Force as strongly as I did with you."_

_"I could train you to feel the Force again." She said confidently. It was the least she could do for the man who had risked his life for her on several occasions, and whom had ruined his chance at becoming a Jedi._

_"I think you are right, it is time. My Master, the one who left for the Mandalorian Wars has returned, and I ask her now if she will train me in the ways of the Jedi. So I can become a Jedi Knight, what I was meant to be." Their eyes met and she felt as if they had known each other forever._

_"Think of how you felt when you arrived on Dantooine. Think of the wind blowing through the trees on the plains. And finally, think of how you felt when our paths crossed again." Amira could then feel the small spark of the Force growing inside of him. He was now a Jedi. A Jedi that would one day do great things..._

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One...two...three...four. She counted the tiny specks on the ceiling in her room, as she lay awake in her bed. Five...six...seven...eight. There were so many of them; all with their own shape and individuality. Nine...ten...eleven...twelve. She could continue counting them all until she was an old woman, but she had a job to do. She was supposed to meet with another Jedi to go over the dreams, but she honestly did not feel like getting any help.

Part of her wanted to suffer. She wanted to feel something...because at the moment she felt dead. Her emotions were barely in check most of the time. Amira knew her life was going in a downward spiral. She also knew that it was her fault to begin with. Of course she could blame someone else for his death, there were multiple people responsible for how everything had played out. In the end, it was she. She who killed him.

But then again, that was the negative part of her self-conscious thought. The positive part had died when Mical had. Closing her eyes, Amira tried to imagine Mical. She could see his face, his lively eyes, brilliant smile, and blood. Snapping her eyes back open, she still couldn't get that image out of her head. The blood that dripped down the side of his face, the large gash across his chest. Amira pulled the covers over her head and wept.

The image would not leave. That was the largest part of the reason why she couldn't look at his picture or think about him. She always saw blood...and death. It was hard to see happy images; images that left a good feeling behind instead of a feeling of desperation and grief. She no longer remembered the happier days, when it was just her and Mical. It was now the dark memories that overpowered her conscious, and sometimes unconscious, mind.

A ringing at her wall phone alerted her to the fact that she was supposed to be somewhere right now. Moaning, she casually got out of bed and turned on the phone. An image of Selena instantly appeared. She looked upset...

"Master Darrah, they said...they said that I couldn't be your apprentice! What am I gonna do? Why aren't they letting you train me? I told them that-"

"Hold on, Selena. Slowly and calmly tell me what happened." Amira said tiredly.

"The Council! They said that I was going to be getting a new Master soon. I then informed them that you were to be my new Master. The exchanged looks and then told me that you were unable to be a Master right now!" She took a breath. "What's going on? You said-"

"Settle down. I will talk to them and see what the problem is. I will train you, Selena, and you will become a great Jedi. I promise." She said calmly, although her inner thoughts were of anger.

"Ok...I trust you." Amira's breath caught in her throat. Mical had said the same thing to her once...before he had died. A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away before Selena noticed.

"Get some rest, you don't look like you've slept a wink since yesterday."

"Yes, Master." The picture and phone clicked off.

Redialing the phone, Bastila's image popped up.

"Hello? Oh, Amira, what do you need?" Bastila asked.

"You know damn well what I want, Bastila! I want to know why you said that I was 'unable to be a Master right now'!" Amira yelled angrily at the picture on the wall.

Bastila's figure did not flinch in the slightest. "That is why. You are too unstable right now. You are letting your emotions control you and that is the path to-"

"Shut up! I know anger is the path to the darkside! Apparently so are a lot of other emotions that I am exhibiting so basically I'm a walking living darkside path!" Amira said, frustrated. Bastila had no right to judge her! She had lost her husband! None on the Council understood!

"Please, Master Darrah. You must understand that it is for the best." Bastila said calmly, although Amira could feel the tension.

"Fine." Bastila was about to turn the phone off when she spoke again. "I want to earn the right to train Selena. That is all I ask. I need to train that child. Please."

Bastila noticed the desperation in her voice and nodded approvingly. "Alright, you must go see Master Bindo. Talk to him and learn to control your emotions. Only then will the Council allow you to train Selena. Is that clear?"

Amira had always hated that condescending tone in Bastila's voice. Although Bastila was young, she was very wise, and that made Amira angry, because Bastila was also right most of the time. "Crystal."

Amira hung up and flopped back onto the bed. _Great, now I'm slowly losing my sanity as well. They only send you to Bindo if you're losing it. Like he'll be able to comfort me. Unlikely...what I need, no one can give. A small plot suddenly began to form in her mind, although she didn't know it yet..._

**A/N: Please review...the button is so close...you know you want to.**


	4. Chapter 4:The Largest Threat of All

**A/N: Again, I'd like to thank all my loyal reviewers who are keeping this fic alive! It's good to see a few people who like Mical&Exile fics! There should be more out there! I should also be updating Broken Love Triangle soon as well so look for that...anyway, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR I or II.**

**Chapter 4: The Largest Threat of All**

_The blast of cold air met Mical's face dead on as the door of the Enclave swung open and Atton and Bao-Dur rushed in. In their arms was a very wounded looking exile. Mical heart jumped into his throat. What had happened? She had promised him that she was just going on a training mission! No training mission would leave her looking like that...bloody and battered._

_Mical rushed to help Bao and Atton get her on the medical table. Both Atton and Bao-Dur had blood over the front of their robes and on their hands. The only thing was that neither had any wounds nor cuts. Meaning all the blood was Amira's. This was ridiculous! It was also going to be the last time Mical let her go anywhere alone, even if it was just a training mission._

_"What happened?" Mical asked harshly._

_"Don't look at me! Bao and me found her like this. She landed in the Ebon Hawk and stumbled out...it was lucky we were around to help her or she would've never made it to the med lab." Atton said defensively._

_"Hand me some towels, we need to stop the bleeding." Mical asked Bao, who quickly went to work looking for some towels and other medical supplies._

_Amira struggled against Mical's grip. Her eyes remained closed so it was a safe bet to assume that she was either having a nightmare or reliving the recent memory. Amira let out a muffled cry as Mical placed the cold towel on her forehead._

_"Shhhh, it's alright. You're safe, Ami." Mical said in a soft and warm tone as he applied some pressure to her wounds. The blood had, thankfully, stopped for the moment._

_Amira's eyes snapped open and Mical could see her eyes cloud with fear and worry. The haze quickly dissolved when she noticed who was healing her. Bao-Dur saw that they were doing all right and silently dismissed himself. Atton, on the other hand, decided to remain._

_"Mical?" She whispered nervously._

_"Yeah. I am here...it is going to be all right. You're wounds were serious but they are healing quickly." Mical explained._

_Atton scoffed at the way she looked at Mical. What did he have that he didn't? Recalling the Jedi Code, reluctantly, in his head, he managed to focus on other things. One being that Amira was still hurt._

_"Can I help?" Atton asked, almost pleadingly._

_"No thank you, Atton. I can handle it from here." Mical said nonchalantly. He returned his focus to cleaning the last of Amira's wounds._

_"You sure? 'Cause I really don't have anything better to do-" Atton commented._

_"I am positive. In fact, it would probably be better if you stayed out of the way at the moment." Mical meant no insult, but he worked better alone. He always had._

_Atton snapped at the comment. "Oh yeah? I beg to differ, your majesty."_

_"Atton, don't-" Mical began._

_"Save it. You need someone useful, you'll know where to find me. Oh, and hope you get better, Ami. But under his care, I doubt that..." Atton said almost as an afterthought._

_Atton slammed the door behind him. Mical just shook his head sadly...no matter what he did Atton would always hate him. It was a safe bet to say that Amira was that reason. Most of the crew knew that Mical and Amira had a thing for each other. Although they knew, the crew usually preferred not to talk about it in public. Amira smiled a weak smile and struggled to sit up. After much difficulty, she sat up._

_"I'm feeling...better." She lied. "I guess I'll just-"_

_"No you don't. You need to rest. I don't know what happened out there but I plan on finding out...eventually." He added extra emphasis on the last word._

_Amira rolled her eyes. "Mical, it was an accident."_

_"Well, at least you are alright now. That is all that matters." He turned to grab more supplies. Amira waved her hands and the cameras mysteriously shorted out._

_"I said I was sorry." She mumbled apologetically._

_Mical sighed. "I know. You just...you had me scared. When they carried you in...I thought I might lose you. I can't lose you, Amira."_

_Amira touched his hand tenderly. "I won't leave you, Mical. I'm too stubborn about that, remember?"_

_Mical shook his head and sat down next to her on the med table. His eyes weren't their usual blue color, but more of a hazy grayish-bluish color. Amira scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. She brought her hand up and played with an out of place strand of blonde hair. Mical seemed not to notice her playing with his hair. His eyes were focused elsewhere, elusively. As if he was looking for something that could not be found or was unattainable._

_"You need a haircut." She said playfully._

_"You said it was a training mission, Ami." He said softly._

_Amira looked away from him, her eyes cast downward. "It wasn't a training mission. I was asked to go investigate a Sith presence in the region..."_

_Mical snapped his head quickly around to look at her. She had always hated that disapproving look he gave her. "You lied to me?"_

_"I'm sorry, Di. It's just- I knew you wouldn't want me going if you knew that I was going to be dealing with Sith and..." her voice trailed off._

_"You should have told me..." Mical stood up and started working on some medpacks._

_"I told you why I couldn't have! You wouldn't have wanted me to go! Than I would have had to go behind your back and do it anyway!" Amira said the words before she could stop and realize what she had said. Mical stopped working and went stiff._

_"So you would have disregarded anything I would have had to say on the matter?" He looked hurt. She could feel the sadness welling up inside him. She hated it when he was upset._

_Walking over, she leaned into him and he wrapped his arms protectively around her. She rested her head on his chest and breathed deeply. "I love you. Anything I do, I do because I think it is the best thing for us."_

_Mical kissed the top of her head softly, tenderly. "I know. I...I'm just so terrified of losing you, Amira. I love you...and as long as I'm here I promise that I will protect you."_

_"That is a promise that will be difficult to keep, I think." Amira smiled and leaned closer to him. "You always were too overprotective."_

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"I'm not sure I understand, Master Bindo..."

"You dream these dreams because you want to-"

"I just want them to stop. They're too painful." Amira said to Jolee.

"Hmph! Young people these days! You come here for my advice and then take no heed to it!" Jolee snapped.

"Master Bindo...I am trying. It is..._difficult_." Amira explained.

Jolee would have said some sort of snappy comeback but he knew how the young girl felt and decided not to bruise her already beaten feelings anymore than he'd have to. Sighing, he picked up his lightsaber and ignited it.

"Come...the only way to actually focus, is to battle. Where every move counts, where any misstep can cost you your life."

Amira looked at her lightsaber, which hung on her waist. She grabbed it and then quickly after dropped it, as if it were scalding hot. She couldn't do it...

_Come on, girl. Pick it up._

Amira was a little more than surprised at hearing Jolee's voice in her head. Even more surprising was the fact that it wasn't a disapproving tone, nor was it loud or soft. It was just...there. She looked to him, his eyes met hers and she felt a renewed strength. Grabbing her lightsaber, she got up and stood adjacent to Jolee. She hadn't fought anyone or anything in a long while.

Without even telling her, Jolee began the battle by swinging at her side, which she easily parried and stepped back. Moving to his left, Amira swung lightly and nipped his elbow. He quickly turned and caught her off guard with a kick to the stomach. The old man played dirty. With a casual leap, Amira landed behind Jolee and his lightsaber moved to block hers. Sparks flew off of both as orange met purple.

A Force Push to his right sent him backing up, giving Amira enough time to take a breath. Jolee was soon on his feet and fighting back agressively against Amira who was shocked by his ability to wield a lightsaber.

"You're...too slow." Jolee breathed. "Never underestimate the enemy."

Amira grimaced as Jolee reprimanded her on her battle tactics. What did he know about battle?

"Actually, I know a lot more than you'd think. I may be old but I'm not ignorant." Jolee said after reading her thoughts. The man was smarter than he looked...

Using Force Stasis, Amira managed to freeze the man in another attempt to catch her breath. Jolee quickly retained his mobility and attack her ferociously. With a quick block to her right, then left, and then Amira spotted an opening. With a couple more blocks, Amira led Jolee to believing he'd won the battle. She then used a bunch of spontaneous moves. She could feel the Force flowing through her...it was once again a welcome companion.

Victory within her reach, Amira used a more defensive move. Jolee was surprised by her tenacity and ability to switch between offensive and defensive moves so instantaneously. Her power was amazing, and that frightened Jolee Bindo. Because he knew that those who gained power, even a small amount of it, did not want to lose it. Which a lot of times, was the cause of falling to the darkside. He could also feel all the emotions residing within her. Battle was a pure form of expression. When in battle, all defenses are dropped. He now understood why Bastila and the rest of the Council were worried.

With a final blow to Jolee's side, Amira won the battle. Much to the surprise of both her and Jolee.

"Congratulations. You won." Jolee said.

"Thank you, Master Bindo-"

"I didn't say that you were good. I simply said that you won." Jolee added.

"I see." Jolee was testing Amira's patience. And Amira didn't have much patience to begin with.

"Alright, your session with me is over. Thankfully...I am an old man after all." Jolee slumped into a nearby chair.

It was then that Amira saw how tired the old master really was. She felt awful for having put him through all that rigorous training, yet at the same time, she felt he deserved it for the way he was testing her. He had no right! Anger flooded Amira senses and she gripped the hilt of her lightsaber, quickly releasing it. Fear and surprise clawed into her heart and mind and she dismissed herself by running outside. Slipping into the shadows of the massive enclave, Amira disappeared from sight.

She had never lost her emotions like that before. Not ever. That fact alone made her shiver...what if the Council was right? What if her emotions led to a tragic accident? The voices inside her head were waging war with each other...as they always did now. Hiding among the ancient statues, Amira let her mind travel back to happier days...days where her biggest worry was a few Sith Lords. Not like now...now her biggest worry, and threat, was...herself.

**A/N: Please review...I always look for things to add to this story or suggestions, advice...thanks again!**


	5. Chapter 5:Giving Up

**A/N: All the positive feedback that i have been getting is just amazing! I am so very happy that people like this story! I've worked hard to get it done quickly...but to still have it flow smoothy. I'm also happy because it means that there are people that like Mical&Exile fics! Yay for you! From now on, I've decided to dedicate chapters to my loyal reviewers because without there support...this fic wouldn't be as good! Speaking of...this chapter is dedicated to The Disciple for the awesome reviews I've recieved from you! You rock! This chappy is for you!**

**Disclaimer:I don't own Sw or KotOR II...but one day I will...I mean i'll start with owning Mical and work my way up...hehe**

**Chapter 5: Giving Up**

_The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon when Mical woke Amira up. Amira rolled over and moaned something unintelligible. She had just returned from a difficult and draining quest. She just wanted some sleep, but apparently even that luxury was not available. Mical looked like an eager kath hound getting ready to go in for the kill. Amira called him on it too._

_"I have a surprise for you." He whispered._

_"Can't it wait, Mical? I'm really tired..." Amira rolled back onto her side, pulling the covers over her head._

_"It's almost dark out. You haven't had anything to eat all day since you got home this morning." Mical commented._

_Amira sighed and pulled the covers closer, trying to block out the last bits of light coming through. Mical was obviously excited about something...something important. Reluctantly, Amira got out of bed._

_"It better be worth it, Mical." She whined impatiently._

_"I've been working on it while you slept. You might want to get changed into something nice." He added._

_"So you think I look awful?" Amira teased._

_"Um...that isn't exactly what I meant..." Mical tried to backtrack. The embarrassed look on his face was priceless, though._

_"But it's probably true. I think I'll take a shower first, as well. It might wake me up..." Amira dragged herself over and into the 'fresher, a thin smile on her face the whole time. Mical then left the room and headed into the dining room._

_The hot water felt so good as it glided over Amira's skin. She couldn't remember the last time that she had had a decent shower or bath. The Council had continued sending her on countless missions. It was understandable considering there weren't a lot of Jedi around yet. Turning the water off, Amira pulled the towel around her and exited the shower._

_She quickly chose a light blue dress to wear. Placing her hair into a tight bun at the top of her head, Amira reached for a silver clip to hold it in place. Her hair was always a mess, although she tried to make it look nice whenever she was around Mical. After finishing her makeup, which consisted of a light blush and darker red lipstick, Amira reached for a gold necklace that Mical had given her as a wedding gift. _

_She admired his ability to notice many small details. Such was the case of the necklace. It fit perfectly around her neck and at the end of it was a small gem, barely noticeable, but extremely valuable. The gem was from her home planet, which she hadn't been to since she was a very young girl. She never knew how Mical had found it, or bought it at that, but she was extremely grateful for it. She didn't need it but Mical had insisted._

_"How do I look?" Amira said as she walked onto the terrace._

_"You look..." Mical paused as if looking for the appropriate word..." Amazing."_

_"As do you, kind sir." She whispered seductively back. Mical had changed into a black suit, with white down the center that fluffed up slightly at the top._

_Mical linked arms with her and led her into the dining room. Amira gasped at the scene. The table was set for two, silver silverware lining the glass plates that sat to either end of the table. In the center of the table was a blue vase with red roses sticking out of it. The tablecloth was a light shade of blue to match the vase. The whole setting was romantic, to say the least._

_Mical smiled and pulled Amira's seat out. She sat down silently, still amazed at the whole thing. So this was what Mical had meant by a surprise. When Mical does something, he puts his whole heart into it. Amira smiled to herself, he was doing this all for her too. She felt like the most important person in the world at that moment. But then again, Mical always made her feel like that._

_"Do you like it?" Mical asked hopefully._

_"I...it's beautiful, Mical. How did you manage to do all this?" She asked._

_"Sorry, but I am afraid that I cannot reveal that at the moment." Mical answered back with an arrogant smile. Well, as arrogant as a man like Mical could get._

_"Fair enough." she smiled nonchalantly._

_"Are you hungry?" Mical queried._

_"Starved." She said with a small sigh. The trip had taken a lot out of her. Though she didn't think that she'd get much sleep tonight..._

_Mical smiled. Amira couldn't tell if it was because of the dinner surprise or because he had just read her thoughts. At the moment though, she didn't care. Just being with him right now was great. It wasn't every day that they got to spend time together. Amira smiled back and Mical left to go get the dinner items. She loved these moments. Moments where it was just her and Mical. No Jedi Council constantly watching there every move, no interruptions...just her and him. She had that small voice in the back of her mind telling her that these moments were drawing to an end. She ignored them._

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The florr was never a very pleasant way to wake up, she had to admit, but today she wanted nothing more than to stay there...on the floor and in that memory. Perhaps if she'd have been more careful, more aware of those small voices...Mical could still be with her right now. But the past could not be changed, and the future was always in motion and hard to predict. Perhaps there was nothing she could have done. No matter what, Mical would have died.

Amira refused to believe that. She knew that there could have been a way to save him. There always was a way...no matter the situation. There would be a way. If only she had found it in time. If only she could have saved him. She would have gladly given her life for his. Than he would be here and she would not and there would be no point. He would suffer instead of her. No matter what...one of them would have lost. Fate just happened to pick her.

_It was your fault, and you know it. No matter what you say or how you rephrase it, Mical is dead and it is your fault._ That was the guilt talking. The guilt always had a louder voice than the reason...always had, always would. But that wasn't the way of the Jedi. The Jedi preached peace and serenity. _That is a bunch of bantha fodder and you know it. Perhaps if the Jedi had been quicker, Mical could have been saved. It was there fault as well. You watched them trying to heal them...it was like there heart wasn't in it. They didn't care that he was dying. They just wanted to get it done with._ Amira's thoughts dwelled in what if scenarios.

Were those voices right? Could the Jedi healers have saved him if they had cared? _You've seen them cure dying people all the time. What was the difference with Mical? Perhaps they saw him as a threat. The emotions you had around him made you dangerous. They saw his death as a way to end the threat. Superiority at any cost._ That was the Sith not the Jedi. Shaking her head, Amira tried to meditate.

_Yes meditate. Try to forget about your problems. That'll work. _This thinking was dangerous. It would lead to a dark path. A path to the darkside._ Would that be so awful? You had a taste of it once...you turned away because it frightened you. You have nothing to lose now. _Amira took a deep breath. _I am trying to help you. Ever wonder what would have happened if you had been a Sith? Perhaps you would have had the power to save him. _She had heard stories about the power of the darkside, how a few Sith Lords were able to stop others from dying...

_You are a fool. You could have saved him! You could have stopped him from dying! But you weren't strong enough! You have never been strong enough...and you will never be strong enough! Not until you embrace the darkside. Only there will you find the peace you seek. Only than can you achieve a power strong enough to kill the one who murdered your husband. Revenge is what you seek, and you won't find it with the Jedi._

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up..." Her voice started strong but ended in a choked sob. Revenge. Was revenge the answer that she seeked?

Amira got out of her bed and stared out the window onto the placid landscape. Everything seemed to have it's own place...everything had the one place where they belonged. Except her. She no longer knew where she truly belonged. The one thing she did know was that it might possibly be not with the Jedi. Only time could tell her where she belonged. Could she give up the life she knew so well?

_You have given almost everything else up. The Jedi shall be no different. Search your feelings; you know that it is the truth. Give up and surrender to the darkside._

"I won't give up." _Not yet, at least..._

**A/N: Please review...who knows, the next chapter could be dedicated to you! I need all the feedback that is possible!**


	6. Chapter 6:The Darkness Within

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Anonymous-cat for all the lovely reviews that I recieved from her! Thanks so much! If you notice anything that could improve my writing, let me know! Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, happy?**

**Chapter 6: The Darkness Within**

_"Do you need a hand?" Mical offered generously._

_Atton Rand looked at him with much contempt before answering, "No, go back to your training, I'll call you if I need someone useless."_

_Slightly startled, Mical withdrew a bit. He meant no disrespect or insult but obviously he had offended the man. "Is there a problem? I was only offering to help..."_

_"No, no problem." Atton said earnestly before adding, "Just wondering how long you're planning to stick around."_

_Mical still couldn't grasp why this man was so hostile towards him. He had done nothing to hurt or otherwise insult him. In fact, he had stayed out of his way since day one due to his fear of confrontation with the older man. Atton was from Nar Shaddaa, so he would have had a hard life; Mical did not intend to make the rest of his life worse. He merely wished for peace._

_"For as long as she needs me, of course." Mical answered._

_Atton rolled his eyes. "How heroic of you. Well she doesn't need you. In fact, we were doing just fine until you showed up."_

_"Actually, there are times when you look like you could use some-" Mical didn't get to finish his sentence; Atton was already moving closer to him. His eyes were full of anger and greed._

_"Always with the details, aren't you! You can't fool me, you have some hidden agenda...always spying on her, keeping your eye on her." Atton said angrily as he took another menacing step towards the younger man. Amira watched from the safety of the security room. She, too, was wondering why Atton was so upset with him. Amira was worried that this would turn into a fight._

_"No, no I don't." Mical said nervously. "I simply admire her. She has many qualities worthy of respect...and a strength that matches her beauty. Surely you've noticed..." Mical added, trying to find some common ground with Atton._

_It failed miserably as Atton took it more as an insult. "Yeah, and I noticed first, get it! So cut it out!"_

_Mical nodded, trying to calm Atton's temper. He didn't want this leading into a brawl...or worse. Perhaps they had a relationship? If that were the case, he would stay out of their way. As much as it killed him to do so, if Atton made her happy...than he would be complacent with that. He wanted the best for Amira, no more, no less. Mical turned to leave but Atton continued talking._

_"And another thing...stop being all noble around her in your big hero way." He threatened. "She sees right through your little act. She likes honest guys. Not guys who go around being unselfish and heroic all the time."_

_"I thought she was the hero..." Mical said softly before leaving the cockpit and leaving Atton to his foolish worries and notions._

_Amira was amazed at how well Mical had handled the argument. She had been in a fight with Atton before...the whole time she had kept wanting to smack that smirk off his face. Perhaps she would go see how Mical was doing right now..._

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"Alright, class. Today we are going to review several basic Force abilities and..." She faded off as she saw the look of surprise on Bastila's face.

"Master, I need to speak with you." She said in the same condescending voice. By the look of her face, Amira guessed she was in trouble for something.

"I'm in the middle of a class, Master Shan." She said back, imitating Bastila's tone.

"Now, Master Darrah." There was no humor in her eyes and so Amira dismissed the class and left to talk to Bastila.

"That was...insulting, Bastila. Was it really necessary to disturb my class like that?" Amira asked, frustrated.

"You should not have been teaching the class in the first place." Bastila replied.

"What? Why not?" Amira stopped dead in her tracks. "I went through the lessons with Master Bindo. The Council said I was free to-"

"Train Selena. Which you are doing, if I'm not mistaken. We did not give you permission to start teaching the class again..."

Amira tried to maintain her cool demeanor but Bastila had always brought the worst out of her. Mical used to talk to Bastila. Amira did not know how he could put up with such a woman, but then again, he put up with Amira. Shaking her head, the memory of Mical quickly dissipated once again.

Amira sighed heavily. "I do not understand, Bastila. I have done everything you ask. I feel like you are excluding me..."

"We are not excluding you...you must understand that we-" Bastila began. She could sense the rising anger in the woman. _She does not understand...I wish I could tell her..._

"You kicked me off the Council, Bastila! I know I openly defied the Jedi by leaving to find Revan...but I had to do it!" Amira pleaded.

"Forgive me, I am trying to help you, believe me." She said softly.

"Help me? Is that what you were trying to accomplish by booting me off the Council, taking away my rights as a teacher of the Order, and putting me through all those therapy sessions with Jolee!" Amira yelled at her.

"Therapy sessions? They were not therapy se-"

"Save it. I am trying to redeem myself..."

"Well you're doing a pitiful job at it...wait, forgive me, that isn't what I meant..." Bastila tried to apologize but she saw that it wasn't helping at all. It could have possibly been making things worse.

Amira grew deathly quiet. Bastila was right. She was doing an awful job. Some kind of role model she was! The Council was right when they dismissed her from being a member. Amira leaned against the wall, her head felt like it was spinning. The voices in her head were also deathly quiet.

"No, you are correct. I am doing a terrible job of being a Jedi. I just feel so...lost." She confessed.

Bastila seemed taken aback by the answer. "I am not sure I understand. Lost?"

"You know...out of place. I am not accomplishing what I set out to do. I am not becoming the Jedi I was suppose to have become." Amira walked beside Bastila once again, Bastila always seemed to have that same kind of serene and calm that Mical had had. It was a comforting feeling. She paused. "I need more, Bastila."

"You know that Jedi don't need such attachments. We are happy to serve the Republic for the good of the galaxy-" Bastila preached.

"Perhaps _you_ do...perhaps you are happy with this life. This life of servitude. But I am not happy; I am not satisfied. I hunger for more, Bastila...and I know I shouldn't but I cannot help it." Amira led Bastila into her quarters. Closing the door behind her, Amira motioned for Bastila to sit.

"You must guard against feelings of the heart and mind. It isn't always easy...but it is what we must do." Bastila sat down as if she had lived here her whole life. Her posture made her seem like royalty. It was one thing that Amira respected. Bastila's ability to fit in. Anywhere.

"Bastila, you mustn't repeat what I am about to say. Promise that this shall stay between us." Amira looked deep into Bastila's eyes.

"I cannot promise that. It depends upon what you say. I am part of the Council, I may have to share this with them." She confessed with great sorrow.

"Promise me, Bastila, that this shall stay in this room. The Council does not need to know of this. I'm going to tell you this as a friend." she said.

A look of conflicting motions briefly passed on Bastila's face. "I promise."

"Do you trust me?" Bastila nodded her head slowly. "I need your help. I am afraid."

"Of what?"

"I am afraid of what the Jedi will do if they find out that I have been contemplating going to the darkside."

Bastila sat dumbfounded for a moment. Amira noticed her hand going towards the hilt of her saber several times. "What do you mean?"

"I know there are things about the Force that I don't know. Perhaps...abilities that I have not heard of." She said as she stood up and paced in front of Bastila. "Part of me wonders...about the power of the darkside."

"Why are you telling me this?" Bastila asked, confused.

"Because I know that you once tasted the power of the darkside. I know you know things that the other Jedi don't."

"That isn't true. I...made a mistake once. I do not intend on doing it again. These thoughts are dark and traitorous. You should not be thinking of them at all."

_She knows something. She is hiding something from you. The whole Council knows that you would be too powerful for them if you fall to the darkside. They know you are weak as a Jedi, and that is why they keep you a Jedi. As a Sith, you could attain so much more power. _"Why are you lying to me? I see into your heart, Bastila. I see that seed of darkness in you. I know you know what I'm talking about...and I know you can help me."

"We must stop this conversation immediately before it leads us both down a dark path." Bastila said, still in shock.

Amira suddenly felt that dizzy feeling again. Black clawed at the edges of her vision and she leaned against a chair for support. And as soon as the feeling has come, it left. Amira felt as if she was just waking from a dream. Bastila helped her stand.

"I...I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me..." _Come, I shall lead you down the paths of power. You felt what it was like just then to have a taste of darkness. You want justice for Mical. It is only right, he killed your husband...you should take his life! _"Who!"

"Excuse me? Amira perhaps you should sit down." Bastila helped Amira get into her bed and then Bastila left.

"Who killed Mical?" she whispered into the darkness.

_The truth shall be revealed to you in time. That is, if you know where to look for it..._

"I will find his killer. And I will do whatever needs to be done to kill him and make him suffer." Amira said with a new conviction.

_Good._

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think! It makes me happy recieving a lot of reviews...and when I'm happy, I write more! **


	7. Chapter 7: A Confession From A Friend

**A/N: I am particularly happy with how this chapter turned out...the first time I wrote it it ended up very dark...I'll most likely add it as a deleted scene at the end of the story. Also, this chapter is dedicated to SwordFreak92 for the awesome and kind reviews that I've recived from you! Thanks a bunch!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR I or II.**

**Chapter 7: A Confession From A Friend**

_It was quiet out on the veranda...the only sound was her own breathing. The lights on the other buildings had dimmed as their occupants went to sleep. Amira could not sleep; it had been such a busy day; a day full of excitement and celebration. It had been several months sense the death of the three Sith Lords, and the Republic had decided that it was now safe enough for the Jedi to return. Admiral Onasi had celebrated the return of the Jedi with a large festival._

_Amira was never fond of large crowds. Most of the guests wanted to know every tiny detail about what had transpired on Malachor V and what had happened on the Ravager. Those were moments that were best left for the darker parts of the mind. She preferred it that way. Sometimes it seemed as if time flowed too quickly...but not here. Here on this veranda, time moved slowly. That was why Amira liked it best out here. There was no worries, no problems...just silence._

_She took a quiet breath of the fresh air. It was good to finally be able to rest and relax. For the past moths had been busy with rebuilding the enclave on Dantooine and recruiting more Force-sensitives secretly. There was still the threat of the Sith; they continued to occupy several planets on the Outer Rim. Amira sighed. They may never destroy the darkside completely...but her and the rest of the Jedi would certainly try._

_Amira sensed a familiar presence behind her. "Mical?"_

_"Am I interrupting something?" He asked softly._

_"No, not at all. Please." Amira motioned for him to join him on the veranda. "It is so refreshing and beautiful out here. I sometimes just like to reflect on all of it."_

_Mical smiled. "Yes, it certainly is. It is good to have a break for once. Although, we are scheduled to head back to Dantooine soon."_

_Amira did not face him but remained looking outside. "Yes...sadly. I love it here on Coruscant. It is so lively...yet at night, it seems as if time slows down."_

_"Time always keeps its beat...almost as if it has a rhythm to it." Mical reflected. "Time also changes many things...as well as people."_

_Amira turned to him. "True...sometimes for better, other times for worse."_

_They stood there together in a comfortable silence for several moments. Both just enjoying each other's company. Amira rested her hands on the railing, as she looked farther out towards the Jedi Temple. Or what was once the great Jedi Temple. Another casualty of the war and of the Sith. It was saddening seeing it empty and lifeless. Amira remembered her training at the temple...with many different Masters. Each teaching about the Force in their own way. Now they were all gone._

_"It is not as it was." She said sadly._

_Mical look quizzically at her before noticing that she was looking out at the Jedi Temple. "All things fade with time. We are here now and we will be able to rebuild the Order. The Jedi will again protect the galaxy."_

_"Yes...but I do have my doubts." Amira said mostly to herself. "I don't know if I'm strong enough, Mical. What if I fail?"_

_Mical put his hands over hers gently. "You will not fail. I have faith in you."_

_"I only hope I won't let you down." Amira added._

_"You never have, and you never will." Mical said confidently._

_Silence fell between the two Jedi Knights once again. Amira could sense Mical's nervousness. She decided against commenting on it. If Mical had something to tell her, he would tell her. She trusted him. She knew that she had feelings for him...more so than anyone else knew. Feelings of the heart._

_"Amira?" Mical finally said._

_"Yes?" She turned to face him._

_"There is something I must ask of you." Mical started fidgeting with one of the pockets on his suit._

_Amira gasped as he got down on one knee. "Mical-"_

_"From the moment I met you...I loved you. Although at the time I merely thought that it was an infatuation, admiration if you will. But as I've spent more time with you...it has grown into something else. It has blossomed into love. I love you, Amira." Mical opened the small box that he had withdrawn from his pocket. "I ask now if you share my feelings. If so, will you marry me?"_

_"I...we..." Amira couldn't get a complete sentence out. He loved her. Did she love him? She knew she cared for him deeply...but love? "It is against the Code..."_

_"I know. But I had to ask...you must know how I feel about you." She noticed Mical's concern in his eyes. Mical had let himself become vulnerable...for her._

_"If the rest of the Council finds out-"_

_"Yes, I know." Mical said quickly. "Do you love me, Amira?"_

_"I...well...we...and I..." It was now down to what was more important. The Jedi Order or Mical? "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you!"_

_Mical stood up and Amira jumped into his arms. She could sense the relief flooding into him. She kissed him a couple times quickly to reassure him that she meant what she said._

_"We must keep it a secret. No one can know." Amira whispered into Mical's ear. Mical nodded and wrapped his arms around her...and for once in her entire life: Amira felt safe. Safe and happy..._

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These dreams were really starting to get to her...and they hurt. Yet, at the same time, she loved them. Amira realized that her dreams were the last connection she had to Mical. Through her dreams, she could be with him again. She could see him, feel him...he would be with her once again. Her heart ached with an emptiness that Amira felt strongly. She had to be strong...for Mical's sake.

She knew for a fact that Mical would not want her beating herself up over his death...but she could not help herself. Amira had loved him...and not being with him, not loving him, was killing her inside. She felt like she was losing her grip on reality. If she had the chance to catch Mical's killer, would she kill him too? Would she continue the cycle of death?

Her eyes began to water as she sat there contemplating her future; a future without the one she loved, without Mical. She needed help...if she continued down this path of uncontrolled emotions...it would lead her to a place where she feared there would be no returning from. Would she become the very thing she hated? The very thought of it sent shivers up and down her spine.

There was a knocking on the door. Amira quickly got dressed and opened it to see Mira standing there, her hands on her hips. Mira's hair was down for once, and it looked very nice. Mira was dressed in some light brown robe...but she looked uncomfortable in it. She remembered having to practically fight Mira to get her to wear a robe in the first place. She had always said that it was too restricting.

"Mira! It is good to see you...how have you been?" Amira said cheerfully.

Mira rolled her eyes. "Not as good as you'd think. I just got back from a difficult mission and the Council already wants to send me back out. It's almost as if they don't want me around." Amira laughed.

"You are a handful sometimes..." Amira said sarcastically. "But I believe there is some other reason for you coming here..."

"Yeah...well..." Mira said hesitantly.

"Come inside and we'll talk." Amira motioned for her friend to enter her living quarters.

Mira walked in gracefully. Amira had always admired Mira's cat-like grace. "So?"

"So what?" Amira replied innocently.

"Oh, don't give me that. How are you holding up?" Mira asked softly.

"Fine. Never been better." Amira lied.

"Really? Because I thought that you were still upset about-"

"Don't." Amira knew what she was going to say. "Let it drop."

Mira smiled sadly. "If it's any consolation...I miss him too. He wasn't always the most interesting person...but he was a good guy."

Amira looked at Mira with a sad look...Mira was the only person who knew about the extent of her feelings towards Mical. She had known that they were in love...Amira never told her that they had married in fear that she might accidentally let it slip to one of the Council members. A dark cloud blocked out the sun for a brief moment, casting a dark shadow across both Jedi Knight's faces. In that brief moment, both could see each other's pain.

"What's wrong, Mira?" she asked quietly.

"Promise you won't tell anybody?" Mira asked nervously.

"Yes, of course. I trusted you with my secret, you can trust me with yours." Amira said vehemently.

"Atton is missing. No one knows where he is..." Mira sighed dramatically, "And I'm worried about him."

Amira had been so consumed with her own problems that she hadn't been paying much attention to anyone else's. Now that Mira mentioned it...she hadn't seen Atton since before the accident. Then another question popped into her head. Why was Mira's so worried? She could hear and sense Mira's anxiety over the matter. It wasn't like her to get distressed over anyone, least of all Atton.

"We don't force anyone to train and stay here. Perhaps he decided that he had a different calling in life...or, knowing Atton, he just decided to ditch the Jedi. He once told me that he was a deserter...so I am not that worried about him-" Amira explained.

"Well, I am worried about him. Don't you think it's a little strange he hasn't contacted anyone?" Mira asked. Her eyes flitted about continuously.

Amira knew something besides that was bothering her close friend. "What is it?"

"What do you mean? I just told you!" Mira yelled, frustrated.

"There is something else..." Amira tilted her head to the side; Mira looked at her innocently. "Mira, innocent looks about as good on you as it does on Atton."

Just saying his name brought a warm look to her eyes. Amira noticed that look and immediately put the two together.

"You love him, don't you?" Amira said, amazed.

"What? No! Of course not..." Mira paused. "Alright...I do. But can you say it any louder?"

"Sorry..." Amira looked at her friend fondly. She knew how it felt to be in love...it wasn't an easy feeling to eliminate, or lose. "How long?"

"I'm not exactly sure when I realized that I loved him but...I know it could get me in a lot of trouble. That's why I came to you."

Amira immediately started shaking her head. She wouldn't help her friend hide it...in the long run, it would destroy her...as it had done to her. Amira could not lose anyone else that she loved. Mira's eyes fell to the floor. She hated it when Mira played the guilt card, it always got her. Always. Already a plan began forming in her head if Mira asked her for advice.

"Mira-"

"No, listen. I know what I'm getting myself into by loving Atton, but I can't help it." Mira sighed. "You'd think I'd know better and not get involved with Atton's type..."

"What do you want me to do?" Amira asked.

"I need advice. That's why I came to you. I know you and Mical were in love and," Mira paused trying to think of the appropriate words. "I need some advice on what I should do."

"I...can't. It was wrong...we shouldn't have fallen in love in the first place..." Amira said with little conviction.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself to go to sleep at night..." Mira mumbled. "I know you better than that, Amira."

Amira smiled, although it was an empty smile filled with regrets and fears. "You must follow your heart, that is all I can tell you."

"What if my heart doesn't know what to do?"

"It always knows the right path to take, although the path may not end the way you plan." Mira nodded sympathetically.

"Thanks, Amira." They gave each other a friendly hug and Mira left.

Amira's words still hung in the air. What did her heart say? She no longer knew what her heart wanted...as it was always crying now. _Revenge._ Was that what her heart looked for? Would that bring her the peace she hungered for? _You must do what you feel is right...even if it leads you to the darkside. The darkside has many answers...including some you seek. _The voices were silent after that...leaving several things left unspoken for Amira to think about...

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! I appreciate any and all feedback I recieve! Any suggestions or constructive criticism would be extremely welcomed! This story is also going to be roughly 20 chapters so just letting you know...and I do intend on making a sequel! With who in it, you ask? Now, now, now...that would be telling...**


	8. Chapter 8: Impossible Odds

**A/N: This chapter is going to be dedicated to my kind anonymous reviewers, Miranda and Kathleen, thanks a bunch! Also, this is going to a pretty short chapter so I apologize in advance.**

**Disclaimer: Does anyone really want me to own Star Wars? I thought not...**

**Chapter 8: Impossible Odds**

_The planet of Csilla was sparsely populated, the only inhabitants being primitive natives, making it easy to land undetected. This was the last place Amira knew Revan had visited. She hoped that Revan was still on the barren planet...it would make her quest that much simpler. Honestly, she had no idea where to begin looking. All she knew was that the Force was strong here...she planned on finding the source of that power in the chance that it could lead her to Revan._

_She stumbled through the dense brush for what seemed like an eternity before reaching an empty plateau. She would have gone further had she not heard some movement behind her. Immediately, her lightsaber was ignited and in her hand and ready for any kind of attack. A blonde haired man stepped from the brush instead and Amira put her lightsaber away._

_"What are you doing here?" she breathed._

_"I'm sorry. I couldn't just let you go without some sort of protection. It's dangerous out here on your own. Especially with this planet being so strong with the Force." Mical said stepping closer to her. "There is a great darkness here, Amira."_

_"You weren't supposed to come!" she screamed at him. "I told you...and you still..."_

_"Please understand...I had to come. It was not my choice." Mical explained. His eyes echoing his worry and lines beginning to crease his young face._

_Amira took a step backward and slumped against a nearby tree. "You have to leave. Now."_

_"I can't nor will I do that." Mical said, as he stood taller. "I just want to help, Ami."_

_"I had to do this on my own, Mical! You don't understand!" Amira brought her hand to her forehead and wiped off some beads of sweat._

_"I am trying to understand, Amira, but you are a complex woman." Mical said softly._

_Amira began shaking her head. "I love you...and that is why you're going back. You can't stay here. Not with me."_

_"You are my wife! I have the right to stay here and protect you!" She was about to protest when Mical began speaking again. "Besides, there is only one mode of transportation back."_

_"You didn't-"_

_"I'm sorry, it was the only way to follow you without being detected." Mical said, Amira could sense the guilt rolling off of him._

_"You snuck aboard my ship? Oh, Mical..." Amira sighed and walked up to him, placing her hand to the side of his face. His skin was warm underneath her cold fingertips._

_"Please, Amira, let me stay and protect you." Mical said quietly. "I can't live without you."_

_They embraced and she wanted nothing more than to go back to Dantooine with him. She could easily give the coordinates of the planet to Carth and he could send a search team out to find Revan. But what if she was gone by the time they arrived? Without the Force, they would have no way of knowing where she had gone. It was hard enough for Amira to find out what planet she had gone to...and she had done it by drawing heavily upon the Force._

_No, she could not go back, and she knew Mical would not go and leave without her. She ran her hands through his hair tenderly. She had to find Revan; this was her last chance to prove to herself and everyone that she was capable. Capable to remain a Jedi Master. She, of course, had doubts that she could do it. But with Mical here, her doubts and fears seemed to disappear from her mind._

_"It would seem we are in this together," she said into his ear. She noticed his lightsaber hanging from his side. "At least you are well equipped...although you might want to lose a few layers of the robe. It gets pretty humid here."_

_"As you wish." He said with a smile._

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"Why didn't he listen!" She cried out into the silence. "He shouldn't have come! He...should still be alive..."

Amira began sobbing hysterically. She could no longer contain the urge to cry. All the unshed tears were let loose and she wailed, using the Force to occasionally through a random item at the wall. Hearing the noises from outside in the halls, a dark-haired man banged on the door a few times. Amira contemplated leaving him outside and continuing her grieving and mourning. Eventually, she got up and opened the door.

"Are you alright?" Amira was surprised to see the Admiral standing there. "Amira?"

"Oh, Admiral Onasi. I'm sorry about the noise. I didn't wake you, did I?" Amira said worriedly.

Carth's face warmed up seeing Amira. He held the young woman in very high esteems. "It's alright, I was awake. Besides, you could never do anything to bother me. I owe you for trying to find Revan."

"But I failed. I couldn't find her, Carth." Amira said solemnly.

"Yes...well, it isn't important now." Carth stood there for a moment. "May I?"

"Oh, yes, of course. My apologies, I haven't been feeling very well as of late." Amira let Carth inside her room and closed the door behind them. "So what are you doing here on Dantooine?"

"Actually, I've come to personally extend to you my condolences on Mical's death." Carth said quietly.

Amira turned her face away to hide the pained expression. "I see. Well, I thank you."

"I feel responsible. If I hadn't brought up Revan or asked you to-"

"No. It is not your fault." Amira replied quickly. Carth noticed the pain and anger in her eyes.

"You believe it's your fault, don't you?" Carth stated knowingly.

Amira remained silent.

"I can tell, you know. The messy room, the broken items, the red eyes." Carth said pointing it all out.

Amira's eyes fell to the floor. "I don't think it's my fault. I _know_ that it is."

Carth nodded sympathetically. "I understand. I felt responsible for Revan's disappearance...hell, I still do."

"Carth-" Amira began desperately.

"No, hear me out. I can relate to your pain." Carth leaned closer to her. "I also know that you loved him."

"Were we that obvious?" Amira said while rolling her eyes.

"I just know love well. The secret looks, the hidden smiles, and the brushing up against each other "accidentally". I'm not a fool, Amira." Carth smiled to himself as he remembered the days that he and Revan had shared, doing similar activities. "Point is...you need to learn to let it go. The hate, the anger, the grief. If you don't, it will destroy you."

"For a non-Jedi, Carth, that was a very Jedi-like statement." Amira smiled.

"What can I say? You try being around one for several years and not pick up on the cryptic routines." Carth said jokingly.

"I can't." Amira said finally.

Carth's smile disappeared. "That is your choice. I just wanted you to know my opinion on the matter."

"I appreciate the kindness and advice, Carth. But I can't let it go. I may never be able to let it go..." Amira decided that she could trust Carth. She had met him several times and they were already decent friends. "I'm going to find him, Carth."

Carth immediately knew what she was talking about. "I got the revenge I always wanted when I killed Saul. It didn't bring me the peace I thought it would. Get the revenge you want, Amira, but don't let it consume you. Or, in the end, you will have nothing."

Amira had no clue how this man was able to read her like an open book...but it was creepy. He had known just what to say and his words affected her deeply. Would revenge consume her? Perhaps it would; perhaps she would end up with nothing but memories and pain in the end. But that was the risk she was willing to take to avenge Mical. It would be almost impossible to find his killer...

"I'll take those odds." She said to herself silently.

**A/N: Please review! If you took the time to read it, you might as well review it! I really appreciate any feeback, thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9:Secret Beginnings

**A/N: I really hope that everyone likes this chapter because it nearly killed me trying to write it! In your face, writer's block! ahem...this is dedicated to all Mical/Exile pairing fans! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing...zip, zilch. Well, with the exception of Mical...I do own him. :D**

**Chapter 9: Secret Beginnings**

_She hadn't been to Corellia since she was very young and she forgot how beautiful it was. The sun was bright most days, like it was today...the day of her wedding. She should by the open window, the wind blowing her silky hair across her face. It was such a beautiful day...she needed to get ready but she was finding it hard to move away from the refreshing breeze. It was so peaceful here._

_Birds began chirping from outside her window, almost as if a reminder that she had things to do. Turning around, she went to her closet and pulled out the beautiful white gown that Mical had bought her for their wedding. He had told her that he would buy any one dress that she wanted. The dress she picked out wasn't the most fancy, but it was delicate and beautiful all the same._

_The train had white flowers sown into it and the rest of the dress was a bright white that was snug on her body, accentuating her curves. She grabbed the dress gently and swung it around a couple times. She had always imagined getting married in a gorgeous dress and in a calm environment. She regretted not being able to have any of her family or friends attend, but it was the only way that it would remain a secret._

_When she was just a little girl she had attended her eldest sister's wedding. Although she had been no more than three years, she remembered it all. The flowers, the dress, and the smile on her sister's face...it had been almost magical. She knew she was wearing that stupid smile right now as she slipped carefully into her dress. There was a low knock on the door._

_"Who is it?" She called out. She was disappointed when it ended up being her bridesmaid, instead of her bridegroom._

_"Veronica. Are you ready to do your hair now, ma'am?" She asked softly._

_"Oh...yes! I almost forgot! Come on in, the door is unlocked." Veronica entered, her long blond hair flowing over her shoulders like a waterfall of golden honey._

_"What would you like to do with your hair, ma'am?" Veronica asked._

_"First, you can call me Amira. Secondly, whatever you think would look nice." Amira blushed. "I really never have done any dressing up before so I'm not exactly sure about much of this so it's all in your hands."_

_Veronica smiled and got to work on Amira's hair. She began cutting and placing a bunch of small pins here and there. Amira was so excited that she could hardly sit still. For some reason, her Jedi training had temporarily escaped her. Her emotions were flowing cleanly and freely. Happiness was almost radiating off of her as she sat in that seat letting her bridesmaid fix up her mangled hair._

_"You should sit still or I'll accidentally cut off your ear!" Veronica joked, followed by her healthy laugh._

_"I'm sorry...I'm just so excited!" Amira said with another smile. This morning she couldn't stop smiling. Every time she thought of her marriage, of Mical, she started smiling uncontrollably._

_"You should be! I just saw your future husband..." Amira turned around to face Veronica quickly, nearly getting a pin in her eye. "I told you to sit still!"_

_"Sorry." Mumbled Amira. "How was he?"_

_"I must say that he is one of the more handsome grooms I've seen. You know, come to think of it, he had that same smile that you have on your face right now." Veronica said as she barely avoided poking Amira again. Amira just couldn't sit still._

_"What did he look like? What was he wearing? Did he-" Amira asked quickly._

_Veronica put her hands up. "No, no, no. We have a tradition here. The grooms and brides don't see each other before the wedding. It's bad luck. I can't tell you anything other than he looked happy, but very nervous."_

_"How do you know?" Amira began to calm down, although her heart was thumping rapidly in her chest._

_"I've been in this business long enough to be able to tell. Besides, he was writhing his hands together pretty fast. Now unless he does that on a regular basis..." Amira laughed._

_Amira looked into the mirror in front of her, admiring Veronica's handiwork. Her hair was put up in a tight bun that had two big strands of hair that flowed down her back. It was beautiful...and Amira smiled at her image. It was so different from the one she usually woke up to. This one was clean and crisp while the other image was usually messy and battered, from either training or missions. It was a very large boost to her self-esteem._

_"Wow." Amira managed to say quietly._

_Veronica came up behind her and placed her hands on Amira's shoulders. "You look gorgeous. I fitting match, I think, for that handsome groom that is no doubt waiting for you."_

_"Thank you so much!" Amira said softly hugging Veronica. She barely knew the woman, yet she felt as if she had known her forever._

_"No problem. That's why I'm here." She smiled, hugging Amira back. "But first, we need to finish putting on your makeup."_

_Amira made a face. "I really don't like makeup..."_

_"Oh, come now. I'm sure Mical would love to see you wearing makeup." Veronica said with a hint of persuasion in her voice._

_"You're right." Amira said._

_Veronica applied a light layer of blush to her cheeks and a light pink lipstick to Amira's lips. As the wedding approached, Amira began to become more and more nervous. What if she said the wrong lines? What if she tripped coming down the aisle? So many fearful thoughts...not many comforting answers. She began writhing her hands together as well._

_"Don't worry, Amira. You'll be fine." Veronica said knowingly._

_"I'm just so...nervous. I didn't think I would be." She said sadly._

_"You're not void of emotion. We all get nervous. My advice to you is this: if you get nervous up there, just look at Mical." Veronica said patting Amira's back affectionately. "You'll be fine."_

_"Yeah, but what if I do something wrong?"_

_"You won't. You have to trust in yourself." Amira nodded. "And have a good time."_

_"I will try," she said at last._

_"That's all anyone asks of you." Veronica smiled. "Now I believe we have a wedding to get to."_

_The ride to the chapel was full of tension. It was a silent ride and she couldn't wait until it was over. When they finally arrived at the chapel, she contemplated making a run for it. Perhaps she wasn't ready for this. She was terrified of letting Mical down, though, which pushed her forward. This was worse than being put on trial in front of the Jedi Council. She was so afraid of failing, messing up, and doing something wrong._

_The moment she stepped through the large doors and saw Mical standing there...all her fears and worries disappeared from her as fluid as water. He stood there so confidently, smiling happily. She could sense his nervousness, just as she figured he could sense hers. Veronica grabbed her arm and walked with her forward and towards the alter. _

_The small flower girl in front of her spreading flowers in the aisle. To the sides, it was empty though, with no audience. Amira felt the loss of her family strongly here. She knew she would never see them again, because of her becoming a Jedi. It made her sad. Then she looked at Mical and remembered that they were going to a family. She would finally have a place where she would belong. She would finally have someone to love who actually loved her back._

_"Shall we begin?" The preacher asked and both Mical and her nodded. "We're gathered here today to celebrate the union of Mical Disciple and Amira Darrah."_

_Amira looked at Mical curiously. She never knew that his last name had been the one he used when they first met. She gave him a look and he returned it with a slight shrug._

_"Do you, Mical, take Amira as your wife...through rich or through poor, through sickness and in health, until death do you part?" Amira never liked that part. She never thought death could stop true love._

_"I do." Mical said, smiling warmly at Amira. Amira returned the smile with one of her own._

_"And do you, Amira, take Mical as your husband...through rich or through poor, through sickness and in health, until death do you part?"_

_Amira smiled confidently. "I do." Then they each put a ring on the other's finger._

_"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The preacher said._

_Mical gently grabbed her hands and leaned in to passionately kiss her on the lips. She loved this. And now that they were married...it would be all right to be together more often and relish in those kisses. She kissed him back fervently, while running her fingers through his blonde hair._

_"I love you." he whispered sincerely to her._

_"I love you too." She whispered back._

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Amira woke up holding the necklace Mical had given her a while ago. She felt Mical was still there with her whenever she held the small little item. It reminded her of so many things and memories. It also reminded her of how much Mical loved her and how much she had loved Mical. Then it became a reminder of how she had failed him. She had been holding the necklace so tight that it had began digging into her flesh, but she paid no attention to the pain.

Physical pain was just a mere distraction now compared to her emotional pain. She rolled over and was thankful that no light was coming through the window. It meant that it was still early...or maybe late, depending on what time it was. It was at these times in the night when she felt the loneliest. She had no one to talk to. She was alone. She missed having Mical near her. She just wanted to hold him one last time...to see him again before her, breathing and smiling. She wanted him to be alive.

"I'll never be able to love again." She said to herself sadly. "But maybe that would be for the best."

Then she heard a movement outside her door and she immediately sprung to her feet, lightsaber in hand. No one should be awake and doing anything right now. She crept slowly to the door and opened it quickly. She was surprised to see a six-foot mandalorian standing in front of her, blaster at the ready.

"Mandalore?" Amira whispered.

"Force, Amira! What the hell were you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" He said angrily. She could sense several different emotions rolling off of him. She could almost assume he'd been taking lessons from Atton on shielding his mind. She would have thought that, had Atton still not been missing.

"What are you doing here?" Amira asked, hiding her own emotions. Truth is, she was happy to see Mandalore. She hadn't seen him since after Kreia's death and then they departed and went their separate ways.

"It's nothing you really need to concern yourself with, Amira." He said with his usual gruff voice.

"You're in my enclave, so I think I have every right." She said stepping in front of him.

"It is important that I get the message to Bastila...so out of my way." He pushed past her.

"Canderous!" She yelled.

He froze. "How did you-"

"I've seen you in Bastila's mind, as well as Carth's and a few other's." She smiled defiantly. "They don't call you Mandalore in their minds."

"I don't have time for this, Exile." He spat.

"I just want to know what is so important that you had to sneak into the enclave to deliver to Bastila."

"And I told you no. So move." She had once again stepped in front of him.

"And I said-" He pushed her into the wall and kept walking.

"No wonder Mical died with you as a bodyguard." Mandalore said, not meaning anything other than a petty insult.

But it broke Amira's heart. "That's a damn mean thing to say, Canderous!"

He continued walking.

"Fine. Walk! See if I care!" She wiped a few tears away from her eyes. Damn him! How could he even say something like that? He had no clue how much it had hurt her.

Mandalore stopped and turned around. "I am sorry. I didn't mean it like the way it sounded." His helmet shielded his face, but she could tell he was genuinely sorry for the comment.

Amira nodded and went back into her room. She grabbed her necklace and put it on. She decided to pay a little visit to Bastila later. Perhaps she'd be a little more willing to talk than Mandalore. At least she wouldn't push her up against a wall...

Amira knocked softly on Bastila's door a couple hours after Mandalore had left. Bastila answered, her eyes reflecting her thoughts. Troubled.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk, Bastila." Amira said seriously.

"If you're here about Mandalore…"

"I know you're keeping something from me. I want to know what that is."

"I cannot tell you. You must understand that it is for the best that you don't know." Bastila said, her face no longer betraying her thoughts or feelings.

"Why? What is the big secret?" Amira said, frustrated.

"Go get some sleep, Amira. It's early." Bastila said dismissing her and shutting the door.

"I will find out. One way... or another." Amira promised.

**A/N: And so the secrets begin.Please review! Please! Don't make me beg...it's embarassing...**


	10. Chapter 10:No More Failures

**A/N: Ok, I'm behind on the updates, I apologize profusely! Sorry! Here is the update, i hope it satisfies you until I can get around to writing the next chapter. Thanks for the patience and all the awesome reviews! I'm contemplating plot ideas for the sequel so yeah...there will definetly be one. I promise that everything will fit together so...keep reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR II. grumble As you can tell...I'm not dealing with that fact well...**

**Chapter 10: No More Failures**

_Atton strode purposefully to Amira's room. She had just gotten back from a trying mission and he decided that he would surprise her with an invitation to dinner at the new restaurant at Khoonda. It would be the perfect chance for him to get closer to her. It would be just him and her. No annoying blonde Jedi wannabe would be present, making the idea even more splendid._

_Atton arrived at her door and smoothed back his hair in a futile effort to straighten his hair. He knew she would be so happy to see him. After all, she liked him best. The doubt and fear of rejection stayed in a locked part of his mind, waiting for a chance to get out. He would not let that part of him get out, ever again. If there was one thing that scared Atton more than rejection was becoming the monster he had been before he had met Amira._

_She had changed his life. He had to repay her some way; what better way than to show her how much he had changed and become a better man? It was the perfect plan. Atton smiled to himself as he knocked on the door. He was not greeted with the shining, beautiful face of Amira, however. Someone who he'd rather not have been greeted by greeted him._

_"Where's Amira?" Atton asked angrily. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Good evening, Atton. Amira and I were just enjoying a pleasant game of Dejarik. You just missed her however, Amira just left to go make reservations at the new restaurant at Khoonda." Mical said cheerfully._

_Atton wanted to strangle him. "What? Who's going with her?"_

_"I am. You are welcome to join us, of course." Mical offered kindly._

_"Save it! I can't believe that-" Atton shook his head, frustrated._

_"Is there a problem, Atton?" Mical queried._

_"Yeah! You're the problem!" Atton said pointing his finger at Mical accusingly._

_"Pardon? I don't understand, Atton. I haven't done anything to you." Mical said raising an eyebrow._

_"You stole her from me! She loved me until you came along playing hero!" Atton said with clenched fists to both his sides. "It's not fair!"_

_Mical shook his head. "No...I think you have misunderstood the feelings Amira and I share. We are good friends, nothing more. The Code of the Jedi forbids it. You know this."_

_"You're an awful liar, Mical. You think I'm an idiot? I see the way she looks at you...she looked at me like that before we met you and you stole her from me!" Atton yelled at him in a controlled voice._

_"Atton, calm down. There is no reason for this argument." Mical said, trying to be the voice of reason._

_"I'll calm down when you're out of my way!" Atton paused, letting the threat hang in the air. "I loved her, you know. I still do. If it weren't for you, she would be mine. She only likes you because you pretend to be something you're not."_

_Mical sighed. "I see that you're going to be unreasonable about this. Ok, what am I, Atton?_

_"A schutta who has an over inflated image of himself. But that's not all. I have more." Mical rolled his eyes quickly, not letting Atton see. "You pretend to be all noble and heroic. A good little Jedi. That's all you are to her. A little Jedi puppy dog. At least I have some backbone."_

_"Are you done now?" Mical said nonchalantly. He wasn't going to let Atton have the pleasure of upsetting him. He knew nothing of his relationship with Amira. He would most likely never find out._

_Atton looked disappointed. "Well...yeah."_

_"Good, perhaps we can be civilized now?" Atton stepped forward, trying to scare the younger man but it didn't work. Mical stepped forward as well._

_"I will get her back. No matter what it takes." Atton whispered venomously._

_"Is that another of your empty threats, Atton?" Mical said quietly._

_Atton leaned closer to him to make his point. "I never make empty threats. Watch your back."_

_Just then, Amira walked happily by and Atton pushed her out of the way as he brushed past her. She looked confused as she noticed Mical's upsetting gaze. She grabbed his hand gently and walked inside. She brushed her lips gently against his._

_"What's wrong? What happened just now?" Amira said resting her head and his chest as he held her gingerly._

_"It's nothing." Mical said. "How did making the reservations go?"_

_"Don't try to change the subject, Mical. What happened?" Amira said._

_"Atton just being Atton, as always." Mical sighed. "I'm really sick of Atton's threats and his attitude."_

_Amira rubbed his arm tenderly and reassuringly. "Don't worry. I love you. I chose you to be my husband, not Atton."_

_Mical smiled. "You're right. I just hate confrontation...especially with Atton. It's like he's determined to hate me."_

_"I know. Don't let him get to you. He's just jealous. Although, I will admit that he is starting to get on my nerves as well. We shouldn't worry about it, though." Amira brushed a loose strand of Mical's hair back into place. "It's just you and me right now and that's all that matters. As long as we have each other nothing can go wrong, right?"_

_Mical kissed her gently on the lips. "Of course."_

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"You say that these dreams are approaching the point when Mical..." he paused noticing her pained expression, "became one with the Force."

"Yes, Master Vandar. I believe that my dreams may lead me to his murderer." Amira said, a slight tone of hopefulness in her voice.

"You must be careful. Revenge is an easy pathway to the darkside." Vandar warned, his green ears twitching slightly.

"Of course, Master. But if there is a chance that I can bring the person to justice...than I will."

"Hmmm, I sense much confusion in you." Vandar said examining her. Amira hated it when he looked at her because she felt like he was looking right into her soul. He was a good judge of character...he was also the Order's wisest Master.

"It isn't confusion, Master Vandar. I know what I must do. It is more nervousness." Amira admitted.

"And what is it that you plan to do, Jedi Darrah?" Vandar questioned.

Amira feared that she might give too much away so she remained silent.

"Jedi Darrah?" Vandar said breaking the silence.

"Forgive me, Master. I plan to do whatever needs to be done to have justice." She said quietly.

Vandar gave her a sad smile. "You are a Jedi. You must keep to the Code. Do not let your emotions weigh you down. They will deceive you and lead you down a dark and irreversible path. Once you start down the dark road to the darkside, it is difficult to turn back."

"Of course, Master. I will be loyal to the Jedi." Amira said with a conviction that she didn't feel.

"It is good that you know this. I also hear that you have been making quite a mess for the droids to clean up." Vandar said.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately. I tend to...sleepwalk." She lied.

Vandar obviously didn't believe her but he nodded anyway. "I see."

Amira began to leave when Vandar stopped her again.

"Justice is a noble cause when done for the right reason...when done for the wrong reason, it can be an awful cause. I know that you are in pain right now, Amira. But you mustn't let your grief run your life. It will destroy you."

"Yes, Master Vandar."

Amira exited the large room and head down the hallway. The talk with Master Vandar hadn't gone exactly as she had intended it to. It had left her even more confused and bewildered. Was she doing this for a good cause?_ Of course you are. You are doing this for Mical. Which makes it a noble cause. You did say that you would do anything to get the justice, right?_ Amira knew the voices had returned. They were now guiding her thoughts.

"Does the darkside have power enough to kill the murderer?" Amira asked silently.

_There are many powers the darkside has. All of which could assist you. You would have so much power on the darkside. You would have been able to save your husband, if you had it in the first place. The only way to redeem yourself would be to take the power for yourself and use it to kill the man that has caused you so much pain. He deserves to suffer._

"I just...I don't know what to do. I need some guidance." She again replied to herself.

_Then listen to me. I am you and I know what your heart desires. This is what Mical would have wanted. He would have wanted you to avenge him._

"But Mical...I don't think that-"

_Silence! Listen for once! This is the only way. Once his murderer is dead...Mical will finally be able to rest in peace. You will also be left with unimaginable power. Perhaps even power to bring him back to life._

"There's...there's a way to bring people back to life? Using the Force?" Amira said, amazed.

_There are many powers that the darkside holds. Some considered to be unattainable or not natural. This will be the last time that I will speak; you must decide what to do for yourself._

Amira stood there in silence for a moment. "I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mical. I will not fail again...and I will find and end the life of the one who killed you. I will _not_ fail again."

**A/N: Please review...I'm always open for new ideas so just let me know! In the next chapter, T3-M4 will most likely make an appearance so that's your little hint for now!**


	11. Chapter 11:Surprise Reunion

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter! This is dedicated to my good friend JediAlianna25! She's been really supportive and a great help to me! Thanks for the reviews, too! I know I'm still a chapter behind so I'm working on it right now! It'll be up soon!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR 2. It gets old having to say that but hey, I'm poor. I can't afford to be sued! Mical or being sued? I OWN MICAL! Whatcha gonna do about it!**

**Chapter 11: Surprise Reunion**

_The whole way back to Dantooine was full of excitement. Amira couldn't wait to see Mical. It had been a month since she, along with the rest of the Jedi Council, had decided that she go to Telos and help with the Restoration project there. She hadn't any clue, at that point of time, that it would be a month since she could return back and see her secret husband._

_Now the thought of it made Amira smile happily. Her life was going smoothly at the moment, and Amira was amazed by that fact. Everything seemed to be going great since she married Mical. Nothing had gone wrong, no one suspected that they were married. It was the perfect plan and it was working perfectly. Amira nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw Dantooine approaching._

_The planet grew larger and larger as she approached it. As she neared the landing platform, she noticed the beautiful rolling hills and plains that covered the planet. She had missed the landscape here. She initiated the landing gear and her ship landed quickly and smoothly. Exiting the ship, Amira expected that she would see Mical first. But she couldn't see him anywhere. Her gaze swept through the many faces...but no Mical._

_"It's good to see you again, Master Darrah. I assume that your trip went splendidly." Bastila said, breaking Amira out of her thoughts._

_"Yes, Telos is once again resuming its former beauty. The Ithorians are quite amazing with their work." Amira said._

_Vandar, Bastila, Bao-Dur, Visas, Jolee, Mission, Mira, and a couple others were there. Mical, her own husband, was not. Where could he possibly be?_

_"Amira?" Mira said questioningly._

_"Huh? Sorry, can you repeat the question?" Amira said distractedly._

_"Nevermind, you should get some rest. You look awful. What? Were you rolling in mud on Telos?" Mira said jokingly._

_Amira smiled. "You're probably right. I'll see you all tomorrow."_

_They all began to head off and Amira went back to the ship to grab a few of her bags. She was disappointed that Mical was not there. Perhaps he was on a mission, or he was simply busy. Was he too busy for his wife? Amira couldn't conceive of it. She decided that she would let the matter drop for now. It wasn't that important. She'd have plenty of time to spend with him later._

_Heading down the ramp, she noticed a familiar presence in the Force nearby in the shadows. She dropped her bags and ran right into Mical's arms._

_She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fervently on the lips, while she ran her hands through his blonde hair. "I missed you."_

_He kissed her again. "I missed you as well. You were there longer than expected."_

_They embraced passionately, each reveling in the other's presence. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that it would take that long."_

_"It's all right. I'm just glad that you're back." Mical said as he hugged her tighter. She ruffled up his hair a bit, something that she had been dying to do for a month._

_Amira rested her head on his chest and breathed in relief. "I thought that I'd never be able to come back. The Ithorians kept coming up with more chores for me to do."_

_Mical smiled. "It's so good to see you again, Ami. Force knows how much I missed you."_

_"Yes-" Amira noticed a worry in Mical's eyes. "What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." Mical said softly, kissing her again on the top of her head._

_"Are you sure?" She asked uncertainly._

_"Of course. Don't worry." Mical said. "Come, we should do something special to celebrate your return."_

_"I love you so much." Amira said out of nowhere._

_"I love you too." Mical said with an uncertain smile. "I love you with all my heart."_

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The constant ticking of the clock was her only companion, as she lie awake in the dark of night. Her thoughts revolved mainly on that dream. She knew that something had been wrong. Mical had been worried about something, but at the time, she didn't care too much. She had just been so happy to be with him again. Now she wondered what he had been worried about. Perhaps he had known something that could have changed his fate.

Again, she felt the weight of his death pressed upon her shoulders. This was getting annoying, she should be able to get a decent night sleep but she couldn't due to these dreams. No matter what anyone told her, she knew that the dreams were clues; they would lead her to the killer. That was all she could think of. Revenge. She prayed that the revenge would give her the peace she hungered for.

Lying there, in the silence and darkness, Amira had doubts. She had doubts that she would remain faithful to the Jedi, and she had doubts that she could actually carry through on her revenge. The clock remained ticking continuously. It gave Amira a sense of time, which was why she kept it. It was a very ancient design that she had accidentally found on a mission. It had intrigued her so she had kept it.

Although not as efficient as a regular chrono, the clock served as a servant of time well enough. She remembered how fascinated Mical had been when she had first shown it to him. Her husband had loved the clock...for several reasons beyond her knowledge. It kept time and that was all that had mattered to her, at the time. Looking back, she supposed that she had kept it, and still keep it, as a reminder of years past; years where time was the least of her problems.

Amira got up and stretched. She felt as if she'd been sleeping for several days when, in truth, she had only been sleeping for several hours. Her hair was once a mess again, but she paid no attention to it. There wasn't really any point in dressing all up for a couple of Jedi. She grabbed her robe off the chair beside her bed and quickly changed into it.

There was a beeping sound at the door. Amira curiously opened the door to see a two-foot tall astromech droid. "T3? Is that you?"

"Beep!" T3 said happily. "Beep-bwoop."

Amira smiled genuinely, "I missed you too! How'd you get here, T3? Last I heard you were with Atton..."

"Bwooooooo. Beep-bwo beep beep-bop." T3 said sadly.

"He dumped you off on...on Telos and you managed to hitch a ride from an Ithorian?" Amira said dumbstruck. "Why did he do that? Where is he, anyway?"

"Beep bop bwoo beeeep. Bwooo-bop beep!" T3 said angrily.

"He's probably just under a lot of stress. Don't take Atton seriously, T3. He was probably upset about something." Amira said patting the droid on the head affectionately.

T3 looked hesitant. "Beep-bwoooo."

"You have something for me?"

"Beep-boop." T3 corrected.

"A message? Is it from Atton?" Amira asked hopefully. She worried that something bad had happened to Atton. He was like a brother to her; she would hate it if some awful accident had befallen him.

T3 backed up a little. "Bwoooooo. Beep...bwo?"

"I see. So you can't access it? It's all right, T3. I'm not mad at you. Maybe Bao-Dur can take a look and see if he can unlock the part of your memory core that holds the message." Amira said softly. T3 looked pretty tired. She felt a great deal of sympathy for the little droid.

"Boop-bee!" T3 said before wheeling off in the direction of the garage.

"I wonder what message Atton had for me? Hopefully, Bao can get it out of T3's memory." Amira said to herself quietly.

In the back of her mind, she knew that there was something important located within that message. There was something inside it that would help her accomplish her goal. Her mind right now was a prison, with memories locked in every cell. The only problem now was figuring out a way to unlock these secrets and buried memories...

**A/N: Please review...I love hearing from you. I need some fresh ideas so feel free to let me know if something can be improved upon a bit or if you just have some advice! Thanks again! Only about nine chapters left before the shcoking conclusion! YIPPEE!**


	12. Chapter 12:Two Voices Molded Into One

**A/N: Ok, I worked really hard on the dream sequence of this chapter soI really hope that you enjoy it! More things will begin to become clear in a couple chapters, I promise! Thsi chapter is dedicated to Kathleen for leaving me such a wonderful review! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!**

**Disclaimer: I own Mical...I don't own anything else.**

**Chapter 12: Two Voices Molded Into One**

_He lay there, still and silent. She watched as his chest rose and fell slowly, matching his labored breathing. His blonde hair was no longer its vibrant color, but a lighter shade, and it still had some blood residue left on it. There was a bandage that was wrapped around his forehead, but it did little to stop the massive amount of blood that he'd loss. There was still a circle of blood where the wound was located, which was on his head._

_Amira placed her hand against the thin glass. He was so close, and yet, so very far away. She wanted to help him...but she was unable to go near him. The Jedi Healers were worried that any physical contact could give him an infection. She removed her hand from the glass, leaving an imprint on it. She couldn't lose him. Not like this and certainly not here and now. He was too young to die._

_Sweat trickled down his brow, signaling an infection had indeed begun to transpire. He moved slightly in his uneasy sleep. His eyes remained closed; Amira wanted nothing more than for them to open. She wanted to see his bright blue eyes shining back at her. She wanted to see that same sweet smile displayed on his lips. She wanted him to wake and hold her in his arms, reassuring her that everything would be all right._

_But Mical didn't wake up. He continued to lie there, breathing quietly. Amira also noticed the blood that stained his robe. There was a large gash across his back and the blood had soaked nearly every inch of the light brown robe. She didn't want to keep standing there watching her husband in pain and bleeding, but there was nothing else that she could do. She couldn't leave him; she feared that he would die if she even looked away for a second._

_Everything had happened so fast. One minute he was standing there and the next he was stumbling out of the brush, bleeding and struggling for breath. The image remained permanently in her head. She prayed that it would disappear when Mical turned out to be ok. Tears streamed down her cheeks, staining her robe with wet spots. Amira brought her hand up to shield her face so no one would notice the tears spilling down. It was a futile effort, but she did it anyway._

_"Mical." She whispered quietly. A part of her hoped that maybe saying his name would make him wake up. "I love you. Please, wake up."_

_Then there was silence once again in the hallway. Deafening silence that seemingly swallowed Amira's muffled crying. Luckily, no one was around. The Healers had said that they were going to wait a little bit and see what happens. They said that there wasn't anything else that they could do but wait. It was torture watching him writhing in pain in his sleep. Amira wished that she could do something to help the man she loved, but she feared that she would make things worse._

_It was her fault in the first place that he had gotten hurt. If only she had been more careful...she should have known that he was on the ship. She should have forced him to go back. If only she had been more strict! Perhaps this had just been an accident. Yet, she knew that it wasn't. Someone had wanted Mical dead. She had no proof to back up her theory other than the fact that he was struck by a lightsaber._

_Her hand again went to the window. His breathing was becoming more and more labored. The monitor to his right that showed his heart rate was slowing down. Mical seemed to be dying. No, Mical would not die; he couldn't. There were more things that he needed to do in his life. There were things that Amira wanted to do...with him. She couldn't live without Mical. She needed him as much as he needed her right now._

_"Don't worry, Amira. He'll be all right." Amira was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't hear Mira approach._

_Amira couldn't speak for a moment. "Of course. It's just a scratch."_

_Mira patted Amira's shoulders affectionately. "Yeah, well, if it was just a scratch, you wouldn't be here watching him like a mynock."_

_Amira didn't answer her. She just continued to watch Mical's suffering form._

_"Then again, maybe you would be concerned over a scratch." Mira leaned closer. The younger woman could feel Amira's worry radiating off of her. "Promise me you'll get some sleep soon. You look like something a nexu dragged in."_

_"I can't promise you that," Amira paused," Unless you promise to me that Mical will get through this. I need to hear someone tell me that he's going to be all right."_

_Mira's smile disappeared. "He is pretty banged up, Amira..." Mira saw how hard Amira was trying to not cry...so she lied, "but yeah. I think he'll be fine."_

_The two friends stood in silence for a couple of moments before the monitor by Mical started to let off a high pitch alarm. Jedi Healers rushed in, including Jolee Bindo, who had at one time taught Mical a few things about medicine. The alarm continued and Amira watched helplessly as the Healer's began rushing in and out carrying medical supplies and other machines._

_"Ma'am, you are going to have to leave." A man said softly, his tone meant business though._

_"No! I can't leave him...I won't leave him!" The man grabbed Amira and she sent him flying against an adjacent wall using a Force push._

_"Please, Ma'am. You see the man in there; he will die if you don't leave. We can help him but you have to leave." He said, annoyance present in his voice._

_Amira was torn. Her mind said to leave, and her heart screamed for her to stay. The man's words echoed in her head. She would leave...to save Mical._

_"You have to be ok, Mical. I'll never forgive you if you aren't." Amira said before letting the man escort her elsewhere._

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"Amira! Wake up, Amira! Please wake up!" She awoke to Mission's worried face.

"I...alright already! I'm awake, I'm awake." Amira grumbled, although she was pretty happy that Mission had wakened her from her horrid dream.

"Force, Amira. I didn't think you'd ever wake up. Bad dream?" Mission asked, concern etched in her young face.

"Yeah...it's nothing, though." Mission crossed her arms and gave Amira a look. "What?"

"You were screaming and when I came in, you were tossing and turning uncontrollably. I tried waking you but you just wouldn't wake up and I was starting to get worried." Mission explained. "What was the dream about?"

Amira really did not feel like reiterating the dream to the young blue twi'lek. "It isn't anything that you need concern yourself with."

"That was a great impression of Bastila!" Mission said excitedly. "But really, what was the dream about?"

"Drop it, Mission." Amira said bitterly.

"Fine. I didn't mean to pry, sheeeesh!" Mission said, throwing her arms up in the air. Then she left the room.

_They all don't understand. They all think I'm just overreacting. Oh, I can show them overreacting. No...I must remain loyal to the Jedi._ Amira caught herself before she began thinking even worse thoughts. The voices now turned into one... her own. Her line of thinking, nowadays, continued down that dark path...with or without her consent. Amira shook her head and sent a vase flying against the wall, using the Force.

_They also don't know that one day I'll have the power to destroy them all. I'll even have the power to...bring people back to life._ Amira was slightly impressed with the last thought as she lie there and contemplate her next move...

**A/N: Thanks to everyone else who reviewed! I appreciate it! Please review! That's allI ask...it's not too much, is it?**


	13. Chapter 13:No Longer A Slave

**A/N: Thanks for the beautiful and heart-filled reviews! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SW or KotOR II. Shut up, I know.**

**Chapter 13: No Longer A Slave**

_Mical's hands continued to cover Amira's eyes. He had been determined to keep whatever he wanted to give her a secret. She had pleaded for him to tell her, considering she was the type that hated waiting for surprises. Amira was grinning ear-to-ear. She had to admit it; she loved it when her husband surprised her with different things. It kept their relationship fresh and lively._

_"Can I look yet?" Amira asked quietly. Although her outward appearance made it seem as if she was mildly excited, inside she was as giddy as a schoolgirl._

_Mical still didn't remove his hands. "No, we're almost there."_

_Amira smiled inwardly. She had no clue where she was, but she didn't care. She wouldn't even have cared if there were no surprise at all. Amira just enjoyed being with Mical. She loved him more than anything else in the galaxy. The former exile had never known this kind of love before she had met Mical. The Council had been her family but they didn't understand her. They weren't a part of her, like Mical was._

_Then again, the Jedi were a part of her also. Yet, she had secretly defied them by disobeying the Jedi Code and marrying Mical. It had been the best decision she had ever made in her entire life. Part of her wanted to show everyone how in love that they were, but she also knew that it would destroy their lives if she did. If the Council ever found out about their secret marriage, they would be exiled for sure._

_It had been a risk that Amira was ready to take. She honestly didn't know what she would do without Mical in her life. She was so used to waking up and looking over to see Mical's sleeping figure. She loved being so close to him...it gave them a certain intimacy that helped them work more in synch together. She, of course, knew that their time together was limited due to their duty to the Jedi Order so Amira was thankful for every minute she had to spend with Mical._

_Amira could hear the trickling of water and the birds singing happily. Naboo was a planet that was always lively and yet, at the same time, calm and relaxing. Luckily, the Council had granted everyone a little time off planet. One could take Dantooine for only so long before having to take a break from it. The planet was all plains, herders, and plain boring. The perfect spot for a Jedi enclave._

_"Ready?" Mical said softly._

_Amira could hardly contain her excitement. "Yes, let me see already!"_

_"As you wish." Mical said, removing his hands._

_Amira opened her eyes and saw a shop in front of her. A shop that had very expensive and delicate hand-made jewelry. It made no sense that Mical would bring her here. Perhaps he had made a mistake...she looked around to see if there was anything near here. It was mainly empty fields. She turned to look at Mical who just looked passionately in her eyes and smiled._

_"Mical, what are we doing here?" She asked calmly._

_"Shall we go in?" He offered his arm, which she gladly accepted._

_There was a small man behind the counter. He was young, somewhere in his twenties at best. Amira noticed how the man smiled and his eyes twinkled. He was a good person, she could tell. Mical casually walked up to him and whispered something to him. The dark-haired man smiled cheerfully before shaking Amira's hand vigorously._

_"I am Leonardo but you can call me Leo, Ma'am." He said politely. "It's a pleasure to meet a friend of Mical's."_

_"Mical, what were you whispering about?" Amira asked._

_"I keep no secrets from my wife. All will be revealed soon enough." Mical said evasively. "See anything that you like, Ami?"_

_"Of course! All the jewelry is beautiful." She said admiring the details of one particular piece of jewelry. "Why?"_

_"Pick one." Mical said simply._

_"What do you mean? I can't afford any of-" Amira began._

_"It's on me, Ma'am." Leo said cheerfully._

_Amira looked to Mical who simply nodded towards the case holding a bunch of different pieces of jewelry. "Consider it a gift. A gift to show you how much I love you."_

_"You don't have to give me anything to prove that." She blushed._

_"Please, I insist." He said ushering her forward._

_Amira smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "As you wish."_

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The bright sun on Dantooine shown brightly through the window of her room. A small smile spread across her face...until she awoke. And as quickly as it had come, the smile disappeared. She once again woke up, and there was no Mical around. No movement in the room, no steady breathing beside her, nothing. It was just her. The fact alone made her feel even more lonely than usual.

She never would have imagined a life like the one she was living now. A life with no love, no peace, no point. It had become a worthless existence...the only point in continuing was so she could get her revenge. She hoped that in doing so, it would complete her and she would finally find the peace she hungered for. Failure would not be tolerated. She had to do this...no matter what happened, she would finish this.

She decided that there would be no more tears shed, no more mourning for the past. There would only be blood shed for the future. Darkness was already secretly infiltrating her mind and heart. Memories of Mical were slowly being absorbed by lust for revenge. She had always been afraid of the darkside before...now she awaited it. She awaited the moment it would take complete control of her and she would use it to accomplish her goal...or die trying.

Death. It had always been a frightening thing...now Amira impatiently waited for it. She waited for it to take her to the man she loved. She wanted to be with him no matter what. There would be no more pain...no more suffering. It would all end...and she would be with Mical. But it was not time yet. No, there were still things that needed to be taken care of.

"Amira? You in there?" Mira called through the thick steel door.

"Yeah, what's the matter?" Amira answered back before opening the door.

"The Council wants to speak with you." Mira said quietly.

"So they sent you? What, are you the new messenger?" Amira laughed dryly. "I'm busy...I don't have time for the Council anymore."

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger! Oh, and what exactly are you busy with?" Amira said folding her arms across her chest defiantly.

Amira rolled her eyes. "None of your business, Mira. Just leave..."

"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I really don't think the Council will like-" Mira began.

"Mira, don't you see? I'm not going to be a slave to the Council anymore. They want us to bow and call them 'Master' the whole time when _we're_ the ones doing all the dirty work in the galaxy. While _we're_ dying protecting the galaxy, the Council sits in the safety of the enclave. No more. They shall get no more respect from me. I am stronger than them...I will no longer take orders from them." Amira said, with a power hungry look in her eyes.

Mira stepped back slightly. "I'll pretend that I didn't hear that...for your sake. I'll tell them you're busy."

_Tell them what you will...I am no longer theirs to command,_ Amira thought bitterly.

**A/N: The next few chapters will be pretty critical to the story so I'm working hard on those. Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14:Lost Within the Darkness

**A/N: This chapter was a killer to write...I really hope that you like it. There are lots of allusions in this chapter so you might want to look for those, some of themhint to things. This chapter is also dedicated to Anonymous-cat for always reviewing and catching all my little hidden quotes. You'll have a lot of fun with finding them in this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR II.**

**Chapter 14: Lost Within the Darkness**

_The sky was continuously growing darker due to the angry clouds beginning to block out the small sun. The brush was becoming thicker and coarser. The only thing that made them able to cut through it was their lightsabers. Each casting an eerie orange luminescent glow upon the bushes and tree. The wildlife had become silent...as if waiting for something._

_Amira didn't like it. Everything was too quiet; the only sound was the humming of their lightsabers. The darkness was growing stronger by the minute and she knew that they were getting close. Mical was still cutting through the brush tirelessly beside her, but she knew that he was tired. They had been going at a gruesome rate and both of them needed a break._

_The clouds opened up and began to pour buckets of rain down upon the both of them. Amira leaned against a tree for a moment. She didn't know how much longer she could keep up this pace. Her body ached in almost every place and she felt as if she'd break at any moment. The rain made matters worse...the ground became more slippery and she couldn't stand any longer._

_Her legs finally gave out and right as she was about to fall to the ground, she felt Mical's strong arms lift her up. He began carrying her, she knew he was extremely tired and worn out, yet he still was willing to carry her. Force, she loved him so much. She leaned into his chest and sighed. He was warm, a comforting feeling to be sure, even though it was freezing outside. He held her tighter, trying to give her more warmth._

_"I'm sorry." She mumbled apologetically._

_"For what?" Mical said. His voice was strained from his fatigue causing his voice to shake slightly._

_"Everything." She said simply._

_He paused in his pace and kissed her on the top of her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. It was my own choice to come."_

_"But you wouldn't have come if I had not left. I am afraid of what the Council will do if they find out you're gone too." Amira said quietly._

_"Fear not, everything will be set right." Mical said confidently._

_"Fine...I'm still sorry, though." Amira wrapped her arm around his neck. "I can walk now."_

_Mical shook his head. "I don't think so. You're tired...rest. I'll carry you."_

_"Actually, I'm feeling quite better now." Amira lied. She looked at him pleadingly._

_"No. You have been going non -stop longer than I have. You rest." Mical said with authority in his voice._

_"Don't be a child, Mical. Let me go." She said while struggling in his arms._

_Mical smiled. "Who is being the child now, Amira?"_

_Amira kissed him passionately of the lips then gave him a lecherous smile. She knew she had won._

_"You know that you play dirty?" He let her on the ground and she stumbled a few steps before regaining her balance. "You sure that you are ready to go on now?"_

_"Yup...let's continue on." Amira said as she strode purposefully forward._

_She again got that creepy feeling and she gripped the hilt of her lightsaber. The darkside was very strong here. She just hoped that it wasn't stronger than Mical and her. She turned around to see if Mical was still doing ok, but he was gone. She looked frantically around but could not find him anywhere. Panic gripped her heart. She had no clue where she was...and she had no clue where Mical was._

_Amira began to take calming breaths. Everything would be ok...he probably had just taken a wrong turn. He would quickly regain his coordinates and find her. Then they would find Revan and defeat the evil that was here on this planet. She heard a rustling sound to her left and she immediately brought her lightsaber up, in a defensive position. Mical stumbled out from the brush. Amira breathed a sigh of relief._

_"Where did you go? I was worried that something had-" Amira's heart leapt into her throat. She felt as if she couldn't breathe._

_Something was wrong, she could feel it. Then she saw that Mical was holding his head and...blood was escaping between his fingers. He managed to walk a few steps closer but then collapsed in front of Amira. She rushed over to him and tried to see what had happened. Mical was bleeding everywhere...the main wound was located on his head and it had been caused by a blaster. The second wound was caused by...lightsaber._

_"Force, Mical!" She tried to heal him but her Force powers were already worn down considerably due to her fatigue._

_Mical began to cough. Blood dripped from the side of his mouth and she quickly wiped it away. She brushed his bangs out of his eyes and focused harder on the wounds. They were extremely serious. The Force flowed through her and into Mical, healing him. Amira felt her life force touch Mical's weaker one. He was slipping into unconsciousness. She had to keep him awake._

_"What happened?" She breathed. "Stay with me, Mical!"_

_Mical smiled weakly, "He was there...I...I didn't see him coming."_

_"Who, Mical? Who?" Amira said, cradling Mical's head in her lap._

_"I...I failed you." Mical said, his voice barely a measurable whisper. "I'm...sorry."_

_Mical's eyelids began to slowly close. She knew that she was losing him. "No, Mical. Please! Stay with me! Mical, stay awake!"_

_But Mical had already lost consciousness. Amira picked Mical up, which was no easy task, and began heading back to the ship. She prayed that he would live long enough to get medical treatment. Amira was no longer paying attention to the physical pain she was experiencing as she sprinted back to the Ebon Hawk, Mical barely alive in her arms. Her only thought was that she had to save him._

_"No, Mical. I failed you." She said to herself._

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"What do you plan to do? You don't even know who killed him? Even if you did...it isn't the Jedi way! The Council will not approve of this decision..." Bastila counseled. She didn't know it, but her council was falling on deaf ears. Amira no longer cared, she had made up her mind already.

"I'm leaving, with or without the Council's permission." Amira replied carelessly back.

"Amira, I really think that you should reconsider-" Bastila began. Amira had no clue what was really going on and what she was getting herself into.

"I am done reconsidering, I am done planning...I will find him, Bastila. Once I do...I will kill him and make him pay for the crimes that are his." Amira said. She wasn't out for justice anymore; she was out for blood.

"You are letting your emotions control your thoughts and life...it is a path that leads to the darkside. Please listen, for your sake. You're a good person, Amira, don't do this." Bastila pleaded.

"I'm not doing this for me, Bastila. I'm doing this for Mical. He was a good, even great, person and he was brutally murdered. He deserves justice." Amira answered.

"Perhaps that is what you tell yourself right now...but it will change. What happens after you get your revenge? What then, Amira?" Bastila chided. "It will be too late to come back, Amira."

"Just because _you_ weren't strong enough to withstand the lure of the darkside, doesn't mean that I won't be strong enough either." Amira spat venomously at Bastila.

Bastila looked at her angrily. "And just because you're a stubborn idiot doesn't mean that you can or should disregard everything I say!"

The two stood there in silence for a moment, each testing the other's limits. It was now a war of wits. Their eyes penetrated the other's gaze. Bastila's gaze was calm yet powerful while Amira's was angry and vengeful. The two Jedi had become polar opposites.

"I will leave." Amira said confidently. "You will not be able to stop me."

"Perhaps not, but I will try." Bastila said, determined.

Amira turned her back on Bastila defiantly. "You don't know anything, Bastila. With as much wisdom as you have, you still know nothing."

"I know that what you are doing is wrong-" Bastila began.

Amira didn't turn around but Bastila knew that tears were falling from her eyes by the way she spoke.

"No. No! What is wrong is leading a man to his death! What is worse than that? Leading a man that you _love_ to his death! Holding him while he's dying and knowing that _you_ are the cause of his suffering and pain. Knowing that _you_ betrayed his love and trust for _your _own ambitions! That is what is wrong, Bastila!" Amira cried. "But do you know what is the worst thing of all? A death with no honor, no purpose. He died, Bastila! He died for _no reason_! And I could have stopped it...I could have stopped all of it."

"Do you really believe that, Amira?" Bastila asked quietly.

"I do. So now, I am going to do the only thing I can to give Mical a tiny bit of peace. I will kill his murderer. I will make him suffer like he has made me suffer. I will make him die like he made Mical die. I will hold him by the throat and watch the fear in his eyes as he slips into death..." Amira smiled a sadistic smile, "and I will enjoy every second of it."

Bastila paused. Everything had gone so wrong. The Jedi Order could not afford to lose Amira but if she left to go exact her revenge...they would have to exile her. They were bound by the Jedi Code to carry out the punishment. Amira began to walk off. Bastila could feel all the anger and darkness that she was exuding. It was...frightening.

"Then you are lost." Bastila whispered to herself.

**A/N: Please review...I appreciate all those who take the time to leave me a review! You all are so awesome! Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15:A Sickening Conversation

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Adreial Kenobi. The review I recieved from you was very lovely and I thank you immensely for that! There is a major hint in here to one of the surprises in the end. Let's see if you find it... now, on to the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR II...I most possibly don't own my mind, either. But I own Mical! -hugs Mical-**

**Chapter 15: A Sickening Coversation**

_The moment Jolee walked into the room with a solemn face, Amira knew something had gone terribly wrong. Jolee looked at her with immense sympathy, and all Amira wanted to do was run. She wanted to run from the truth that she knew deep down. Mical wasn't going to awake from his deep slumber. They had taken a huge risk...and Mical had lost._

_"Amira, come sit by me." Jolee said quietly as he slumped into a chair._

_"I prefer...to stand." Amira said stubbornly._

_"He lost so much blood, Amira. We did all we could but...it, it just wasn't enough." Jolee swallowed. He had no clue how he was going to explain to Amira that the man she loved had died._

_"What...what are you saying, Jolee?" Amira gripped her hands together so tightly that her nails began to dig into the palms of her hands._

_"He's gone, Amira. We lost him...he's gone." Jolee said softly. Amira began shaking her head vehemently._

_"No...no, it isn't possible. He's strong, Jolee! He's strong! There has to be something that you can do...there has to be something!" Amira fell to her knees and began weeping. "He can't be gone, Jolee, he just can't be gone."_

_Jolee didn't know what to do...so he remained silent. The girl was in such pain...Jolee wished he could help her but there wasn't anything he could do. She was not physically hurt, but emotionally. Her heart was crying, and Jolee could hear it. He knew how it felt to lose a loved one. It was ultimate suffering...there was no greater pain. Amira's pain echoed outward like a wave. He would be surprised if any Jedi could not feel it through the Force._

_"I failed him, Jolee. I failed him. I should have been there to protect him...this should not have happened!" Amira beat her fists against the unwelcoming tile._

_Jolee leaned down beside the weeping woman and tried to comfort her. "Amira, it wasn't your fault. You can't believe that it was...if you do, you'll never be able to move on. Accept his death and move on."_

_"How could you say something like that? Move on? Move on! I can't move on, Jolee! I won't. If I do...than I will have truly lost him." Her body shook with every cry of anguish and every tear that was shed. Her emotions poured through her. The whole building shook due to Amira's pain that she was exuding through the Force._

_"Ssshh, Amira. It's ok, everything will be alright." Jolee was never the type that was good with kind words or comforting gestures so he did his best to help Amira._

_"It won't be alright, Jolee! Mical is...he's...dead! It's all my fault!" Amira threw her head back. "Why? Why did he die and I live?"_

_Lightening crackled above the small medical center, and thunder roared. The sounds of monitors and electronics were everywhere. But Amira heard nothing. It was silent to her, as if she had been cut off from the world. Her tears stained her cheek and battered robe. The only thing she heard was the sound of her tears hitting the ground and her heart screaming and crying in grief and anguish._

_The only man that she had ever loved was gone. He was gone and he was never coming back. Every horrid emotion known to the galaxy washed over Amira like an unpleasant and unwelcome wave. A wave that drowned out every conscious thought, every little bit of self-control she had left. It was all gone. In a matter of minutes, Amira's life had changed from better to worse._

_"I...I need to see him." She said at last. Although she heard no reply from Jolee, she began to walk towards his room. Jolee opened the door and she walked in, and closed the blinds and locked the door._

_She looked at Mical. He was pale, cold, and...lifeless. There was no color in his cheeks, nor in his lips. She sat next to him and gripped his hand. He was cold. There are no words known to anyone living that can possibly describe how Amira felt holding Mical's cold and lifeless hand. She put both her hands around his in a futile effort to warm them. There had to be a way to bring him back._

_Her tears spilled down her cheeks quietly as she cried by his side. She couldn't leave him...not like this. This was no kind of death for such a good man, she knew that Mical deserved better. In fact, he deserved to still be alive. Fate was cruel...a lesson that Amira would never learn. She wasn't prepared for this much pain...this much suffering. She kissed his cheek softly._

_"I'm sorry, Mical. I am so sorry. I failed you, my love." She looked at him tenderly. "I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mical. And for that I am truly and deeply sorry. I loved you...I always will. Please...please, Mical, wake up."_

_Amira closed her eyes, trying to summon as much power as she could to bring him back. She couldn't bring him back though. Death had forcefully taken him from her...and she couldn't do a thing to stop it. He was gone and she couldn't see him through the Force any longer. He didn't have that blue aura around him...he was just gone. _

_Amira shook her head slowly, wiping away the remaining tears. "I want you back here with me, Mical. With all my heart, I want you back here."_

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She sat up suddenly, sweating. Brushing her soaked bangs out of her face, she swung her legs off the bed and ran to the 'fresher. She felt sick. The dream had affected her more than she had expected it too. The worst part of the dream was the fact that it wasn't a dream at all. It had happened...it was not a dream, but a memory. A terrible, horrid memory that she would be stuck with for the rest of her worthless existence.

Amira continued to feel sick for the rest of the morning. She decided to put off leaving the enclave for another two days. After all, it wasn't like she had anywhere to go to, and she didn't feel well enough to go anywhere anyway. She didn't even really have a clue as to where she should begin her investigation. Amira hoped that the Force would lead her to the killer. It didn't matter whether it was the lightside or the darkside of the Force that was doing the leading either.

If only Amira knew whom the killer was at the moment. If she did, she highly doubted that he or she would be living. That was all she could think about...making the murderer suffer. She would torture them and then right when they couldn't take anymore, she would heal them and do it again and again until she was completely satisfied. Then she would end their life, the whole time looking into their eyes to show them how she completely hated them.

There was a slight tapping sound at her door. Amira ignored it...she had no time to mess with Bastila or anyone else who wanted to try and stop her. The tapping continued and she reached out to try and sense who it was knocking at the door. She felt...nothing. There was nothing there except a slight electrical charge emanating. It had to be some type of droid.

Amira groaned and pressed the button to open the door. The door slid open and in front of her was a seven-foot tall rustic orange assassination droid. Amira nearly lost her balance seeing the droid standing there. He was the last person she had expected to see. In fact, she didn't even know why the Jedi would allow him inside the enclave.

"Salutation: Greetings, Master!" HK-47 beamed. "Statement: It is a pleasure to see you again, Master. And all in one piece, I presume? You meatbags do tend to lose a lot of pieces."

"HK? What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?" Amira asked.

"Friendly Warning: Not so loud, Master! Those meatbags with the bad attitudes will hear. Theory: I really do not believe that they would be too pleased with my presence, Master. Eager Query: Perhaps, if it comes to it, we can exhibit some slightly unrestricted violence?" HK said hopefully.

"No...well, perhaps. But not unless I give the order, understood?" Amira said, authority obvious in her voice.

"Statement: Of course, Master. Query: Is there something you need killed, Master?" HK-47 said, bringing his targeting reticule to his photoreceptor.

"So, HK, how did you get in here anyway?" Amira said quietly.

"Statement: Well, Master, it is a rather interesting explanation. Explanation: After taking several meatbags out in certain strategic positions, I was able to sneak silently to your room. You are not an easy meat- er, I mean, Master to track down." HK said, correcting himself.

"I see. By 'taken out' you mean killed?" Amira asked.

"Nervous Answer: Um...yes, Master."

"Ok...and no one saw you?"

"Proud Statement: Of course not, Master. I am a trained assassin dro-"

"Ok, just making sure. Good job, HK. It will most likely make it easier so I can leave later." Amira said absent-mindedly. She should be furious with HK for killing without her orders but she was busy with other concerns at the moment.

"Query: Master, where is the other historian Master?" HK-47 asked innocently.

"He's gone, HK." Amira said pushing past HK and beginning to walk down the hallway.

"Query: When is he to return? I rather like the meatbag." HK said nodding in approval. "Statement: He is too peaceful for my taste, but he has cunning like a nexu when he wants to."

Amira sighed angrily. "He's dead, HK! Drop it or I'll turn you into a scrap pile!"

HK withdrew a little bit. "Statement: Yes, Master. I would so hate to be turned into a scrap pile. Proud Assessment: It would seem that you have changed since we have last been together. You are a lot like my original Master now."

"Yes, well, Revan was a great leader and strategist. I'll take that as a compliment." Amira answered.

"Statement: Yes, and Master was always so cruel and angry." HK made a mechanical sigh. "Statement: Too bad that wussy meatbag Onasi weakened her."

Amira turned to him. "Are you trying to say love is a weakness?"

"Statement: Of course, Master." HK said, pretty happy with his assessment.

"Never, and I mean never, say that love is a weakness. Love is stronger than either of us. It always will be." Amira said bitterly.

"Placating Statement: Yes, Master. HK-47 signing off." HK said, remaining silent for the rest of the day.

**A/N: Bao-Dur will be appearing in the next chapter so I hope you enjoy that! Thanks to everyone who continues to review! I appreciate it! Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16:Seeds of Distrust

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to The Disciple...thanks for all the encouraging reviews! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. It gives more insight into her relationship(if you even want to call it that)with Atton. So I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR II...oooh, it would be a scary world if I did.**

**Chapter 16: Seeds Of Doubt**

_Atton stood behind her, his face not betraying even a hint as to what he was thinking. Amira was worried about him. He hadn't spoken a word since they had arrived on Nar Shaddaa, which was surprising considering it was him who had wanted to come here in the first place. Amira continued to ponder her next move. She had met a couple twi'leks earlier who had said that they knew Atton._

_They also said that he was a murderer, an assassin. She didn't know what to do. She trusted Atton with her life. Atton had been with her and had protected her since the beginning, when they had met on Peragus. He wasn't a bad person...he just seemed, at least to Amira, a little lost. Almost as if he didn't know what his role in the galaxy was. Amira felt for him...even pitied him slightly._

_"Atton?" She turned to face him._

_"Need something?" He replied with his usual cockiness._

_"There were some...questions that I wanted to ask you." Amira paused. She had a feeling in her gut that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation._

_"Alright, what is it you wanted to know?" Atton said and Amira could sense his nervousness._

_"I met someone who say they know you." She began softly._

_"Yeah? Did they say I owed them credits, too?" Atton said with a smile._

_"They said that you're not really Atton at all." Atton's smile quickly disappeared and was replaced with a frown. "And that you showed up during the Jedi Civil War."_

_"I'm as Atton as Atton will ever be! And whoever your trusted informant is, he's right. I did show up here, along with a lot of other refugees." Atton said angrily._

_Amira withdrew slightly. "Is there something you want to tell me?"_

_"No, because you're asking about it. If I wanted to tell you something I would have told you. Anything else?" Atton said._

_Amira swallowed. "I think I have a right to know, we are working together after all."_

_"Not once have I asked you about the Mandalorian Wars, not once! I heard about Serroco, and Dxun, and I sure as hell know about Malachor V!" Atton snapped at her._

_"You weren't there. You don't know how it was-"_

_"Oh yeah? Maybe you're wrong about that. Maybe you're wrong about a lot of other things too. What makes you think you have the right to interrogate me on anything?" He yelled accusingly._

_"I was just asking...I only wanted-" Amira began._

_"You have plenty of lives to answer to..." he paused, "all you Jedi do. How did you even live with yourself after Malachor? Is that why you went back to the Jedi in chains? Hoping they'd kill you?"_

_Amira stepped forward. "That wasn't how it was!"_

_"Wasn't it? Sure you thought they'd kill you. But Jedi don't kill, do they? At least not their prisoners. So you got off easy...brushed under the cargo ramp. Just another dirty little Jedi secret." Atton said motioning with his hand a sweeping action._

_Amira was taken aback. She had trusted this man and here he was, yelling at her and telling her what had happened when he wasn't even there himself! Amira's heart felt like it had been ripped out._

_Atton leaned closer and whispered in her ear, "I'll tell you, all those Jedi on Malachor...they deserved it. Every last one of them."_

_"How could you even say something like that?" She Force pushed him slightly back away from her._

_"Because Jedi lie...and they manipulate. And every act of charity and kindness that they do, you can drag it out into the light and see it for what it really is. The galaxy doesn't need Jedi hypocrisy or Jedi arrogance any more!" Atton said, smiling to himself as Amira stood farther away from him. She was afraid of him and Atton fed off that fear._

_"That is the Sith. The Sith are the evil ones, Atton, not the Jedi." Amira said, defending her ideals._

_"The Sith, the Jedi...you don't get it, do you? To the galaxy, they're the same thing. Just men and women with too much power, squabbling over religion while the rest of us burn!" Atton said, frustrated. "At least the Sith are honest for what they're killing for. The Jedi are pacifists, except in times of war. They're teachers, except when it comes to telling their students the truth. And when they save you? It's only so you can suffer more!"_

_"Take that back, Atton Rand! Or I'll-" Amira began._

_"Go ahead and try. I think I'm a little more than you can handle." He said, smiling proudly. "But I expect that kind of arrogance from a Jedi."_

_"Atton-"_

_"Whatever... leave me alone! I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with you anyway." Atton said turning away from her._

_"Why are you here, Atton? Why are you trying to protect me?" Amira asked finally. She had to reach him somehow. This man was drowning in darkness, there had to be a way to save him. And if there was a way, Amira would find it._

_"I don't know. I don't even understand it most of the time. I think it has to do with..." Atton trailed off. A pained look crossed his face, and he once again disappeared into the darkness._

_"What is it, Atton?" Amira asked quietly, placing a hand on Atton's shoulder._

_"Well, there was this woman, a Jedi. She...she gave her life for mine. I never knew her name. She sought me out; she said she had come to save me. She was lying, of course, or at least I think she was. It didn't matter though, she told enough truth to get my attention. She said that Revan was doing something terrible to Jedi in the unknown regions. That when we captured Jedi, they were sent to a place designed to...break them. And anyone in her service that showed the ability to wield the Force was sent there too, to turn them. To break them into dark Jedi or assassins trained to kill Jedi." Atton sighed and put his hands in his pocket, as if trying to bury the memories._

_"And?" Amira asked. She had to know why Atton was the way he was._

_"She said that that's what would happen to me. That I had the Force inside of me and that is why I was so good at killing Jedi. That I would become an instrument of the darkside...forever." Atton paused. "I had heard talks among the ranks of troops vanishing. I knew what she meant but I didn't believe her...or want to believe her."_

_"What happened to her?" Amira asked, afraid of his answer._

_"I did to her what I do to all Jedi. I hurt her...a lot. And just when I thought she couldn't take anymore, she showed me the Force, inside my head. And I felt everything she felt, and I heard just an echo of what the Force was...and what I was doing." Atton's voice cracked for a moment. Pain obvious in his tone. "I think I loved her. But it wasn't that kind of love. It was the kind when you're willing to give up everything for someone you don't even know."_

_Amira smiled. "That is what it means to be a Jedi."_

_Atton shook his head. "I killed her for crawling in my head, for showing me that. But before she opened her mind to mine, my only thought was that I'd love to kill her. And then, in the end, I killed her...because I loved her. In the end, she sacrificed herself to keep my secret. To prevent the Sith from knowing about the touch of the Force inside me. She wasted her life to save me. Me." Atton knelt to the ground. Amira knelt beside him, she tried to take some of the pain away, but he had so much anger and hate inside him._

_"Perhaps she felt some greater good would be achieved by protecting you." Amira said._

_"And I felt her die, when she opened her mind to mine. I had killed Jedi before, like I said, but I was never there to feel it, to be on the receiving end. After that, I couldn't stop feeling things. Before guilt, lust, impatience...it had been orchestrated to get close. Now it just kept tumbling out. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. So I left. I fled with all the other displaced war veterans to Nar Shaddaa, and I lost myself there, until the war came to an end. I wanted no more of Jedi, or Dark Jedi, or the Force. I just wanted to be left alone."_

_Amira touched his arm gently. "I know how you feel."_

_"And then I met you on Peragus. And I thought...maybe, maybe she had saved me so I could help you. And if I can't...then I have to try." Atton finished. A sad smiled displayed on his lips._

_"Then I welcome your help...and your honesty." Amira said. Amira felt she had saved Atton from a doomed future that day...she had rescued a drowning man._

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"What you are asking me to do it's...it's unethical!" The zabrak protested.

"Not if I give you permission." Amira countered.

Bao-Dur shook his head sadly. "I can't, General."

"Please, Bao, I need your help." Amira pleaded.

"General...why? I don't understand what you want me to do." Bao-Dur replied.

Amira herself didn't quite understand either. The dream, or memory, she had last night had made her think that she might know something about Mical's death somewhere deep in her memory. She couldn't access it herself, so she figured Bao-Dur could try and do it for her. She was almost certain that she had forgotten something that had happened that day. Bao-Dur could possibly be the one who found the one clue that could help her find the killer.

"I want you to look inside my mind and see if you can find anything important to do with the day Mical..." She fought back tears. "The day Mical died."

Bao-Dur looked sympathetically at her. "Are you sure there isn't anyone else who could do this, General? I think Atton would be better at it then I am, considering you were closer with him."

"Atton is missing, Bao, and you are here now. Please?" Amira gave him a sad look.

Bao-Dur groaned. "General, you know that I'd love to help you but-"

"But?"

"The Council has forbidden everyone from aiding you in your quest for revenge. They say it is a self-destructive path and anyone who starts down it can't return. They're worried about you, General." Bao-Dur said, avoiding Amira's gaze.

Amira was struck speechless for a moment. The Council was already plotting against her? Perhaps they did have something to hide from her. Perhaps everything that she had been taught from them was mired in treachery. The more the Council excluded her, the more Amira became determined that they were the true threat to the Republic.

"Bao, why do you think they exiled me in the first place? They saw me as a threat to their seat of power. They will again rise to power and control the Republic. We can't let them do that, Bao." Amira said. Her mind was still reeling with information and theories. Maybe Atton had been right all that time ago...

"General, you don't think that Jedi are planning to overthrow the Republic, do you?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.

"I think it's possible. Think about it, Bao. They have ample motive. All with power are afraid to lose it...the same goes for the Jedi." Amira leaned back in her chair.

"I don't think the Jedi would do such a thing." Bao-Dur said with a confidence he did not feel. "What would we do if they were, though? We are Jedi too."

"I have a plan. You will have to trust me." Amira said standing up.

Bao-Dur stood up beside her. "What are you going to do?"

"My loyalties lie with the Republic, and with the Senate...they no longer lie with the Jedi. They betrayed my trust." Amira smiled to herself. "But...I will give them their dues, eventually."

"You're starting to sound like a Sith, General." Bao-Dur said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"The Sith is merely a title. A title I will wear gladly if it will help me protect those that I love." Amira said and there was a coldness in the air as she said it.

"I will follow you, General." Bao-Dur said.

"Good, I may call upon you later. Thanks, Bao. It is good to know that I can trust in you." Amira said. "I am leaving for Kashyyyk tonight. The Council must not know, Bao."

"You're leaving alone? It will be dangerous, General." Bao-Dur said, concern reflected in his eyes.

"I am bringing T3 and HK with me. Fear not, I will be fine." Amira said. In her gut she knew that something would happen...she knew that she would find Mical's killer. There was something else...she knew not what that something was though. It was elsewhere and elusive; Amira knew there was something at work in the galaxy. She would find out what that was, or she would die trying...

**A/N: Sorry it took longer to update than usual! So as you can see, Amira cares for Atton like a brother. Anyway, you will get a really cool flashback into Amira's life before she was a Jedi soon. Anyway, please review!**


	17. Chapter 17:A Promise to the Dead

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to SwordFreak92 for giving me the idea to have her see Zaalbar. Thanks a bunch! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Oh, and review...if you read it, you might as well review it! It adds to my morale which means better chapters and faster updates for you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own zip, zilch, nada.**

**Chapter 17: A Promise to the Dead**

_The flames danced around, casting shadows on the solemn faces of everyone that stood silently around it. Not a single person spoke a word...even the crackling of the fire had stopped. Amira stood alone and was the closest to the fire. Her face was constantly being thrown into the light and then the dark in a constant battle, as her emotions raged within her. Her cheeks were stained with the tears that reflected her pain and her eyes were red from shedding those numerous tears._

_But the pain that Amira felt was nothing that could be compared to mere tears. She had brought this ill fate to herself...when she had decided to defy the Jedi and fall in love with a man that was destined for death. If she had the chance to go back and redo history, would she change the choices she had made? Amira knew that she would change a single moment. A few of those many memories, those precious moments, which she had spent with Mical, would remain with her for the rest of her life._

_The man that was lying in the midst of the raging fire was not the man that she had loved. He was pale and cold. There was no life within this man. Her husband had been lively and gentle. This man was the polar opposite. This man was not the one that she wanted to remember...this man was not Mical. She could not accept, nor would she, accept that the man being consumed by flames was her love, her darling Mical._

_No one made eye contact with Amira. All eyes were focused on the flames that were now beginning to eat away at the man's funeral robes. His blonde hair was being engulfed by flames, slowly. The heat emanating from the fire should have warmed her but instead, a cold dread filled her senses. The same cold that would always remain with her for the rest of her life. It would be her constant companion...the one that would never leave her side._

_Amira opened her mouth and merely mouthed the one word that would be forever displayed on her lips. Mical. She needed him with every fiber of her being. But now she was alone...and the same feeling of loneliness consumed her. This was the second time she had lost the only person that mattered to her. It was also the second time that it was her fault. She could have stopped it...and she didn't._

_Mical died and it was her fault. All those who tried to get close to her or tried to love her...were lost. Gone...whether physically or mentally. They were all lost to her. Amira thought back to Kreia's dying words. She had been right. She should have left all those who she loved alone...and gone to search for Revan. She shouldn't have married Mical...because when she did marry him, she had sealed his fate. A fate that decreed that he would die a miserable death. A fate that also said that she would be destined to be kept alone. Love was strong but death had again proven that it was stronger._

_In a battle, death always came out as the victor. Amira could not move; she was trapped in this moment. It was almost like a dream...no, a nightmare. A nightmare that she would never be able to awake from. So she would build her own world to escape into...a world where Mical was still alive and with her. She needed something to remember him by. Something that was not just a material item...something that would forever connect her to Mical._

_Amira wanted to scream, but her voice was gone. She wanted to cry, but no more tears would come out. She wanted to die, but her heart continued to beat. Her heart did more than just beat...it cried. It cried and it screamed and it did everything that Amira wanted to do. Her heart was the only thing she had left that kept her going...her motivation had died with Mical._

_Bao-Dur stood near her, he made no effort to comfort her, and Amira was thankful for that. She had lost the one she loved and no amount of comfort or apologies would change that. Amira clenched her hands together so hard that blood dripped between the cracks of her fingers. It was the only thing that made her feel alive. The pain was her only connection to reality. Without it...Amira was dead._

_What was the point of living if the one that made life worth living is gone? That would be the question that would haunt Amira's thoughts until the day Amira died. A day that Amira prayed would come soon to her. For then she would once again be reunited with her love. One person can take only so many heartbreaks before they simply stop caring...and await the death that eludes them._

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Reliving the past was becoming almost unbearable. She didn't want to remember; she wanted to forget. She wanted to lose herself and completely and totally. Amira was slowly losing her mind. She couldn't take all the pain and heartbreak anymore. Too many things had happened and Amira could no longer take all of it in. All those traumatic experiences were wearing Amira's mental stability thin.

Amira initiated the landing gear and the ship landed swiftly on a landing pad that was located on the top of a mighty tree. Shortly after exiting her ship, Amira was greeted by several massive wookies.

"Greetings. I am here to see Chieftain Zaalbar." Amira said as she bowed respectively.

"He wasn't expecting you, but I am certain he will be happy to see you." The largest wookie said in Shyriiwook, their native language. "I will take you to see him."

Amira was led to the wookie village; along the way she couldn't help but admire the giant forests. The planet was quite amazing, yet the creatures that lived here were even more amazing. The wookies were huge and massive creatures but had a golden heart. They were also so very gentle and compassionate. A trait that Amira admired from any sentient.

"Ahhh, the Exile. It is good to see you again. Have you had any luck finding Revan?" Zaalbar asked.

"I have not. I have been...busy, as of late." Amira said, a trace of pain in her voice.

"I see. Well, what brings you here to our peaceful planet, Exile?" The great Chieftain asked.

"I have come in hope that you would allow me to stay here for a few days until I decide what my course of action is going to be." Amira explained.

"Action?" Zaalbar queried.

"Yes, there has been a murder and I am going to investigate this and bring the murderer to justice." She said, unmoving.

"Then anything I can do to help, I will. You may stay here and you will be under the protection of every wookie here." Amira bowed and left.

What was her plan of action? She had no clue as to where the killer was. She didn't even know why she wanted to stop at Kashyyyk in the first place. Something just told her that it was her best chance to find the killer. Amira's heart ached...after that last dream; Amira was now more motivated than ever to get her revenge. She hungered for the murderer's blood. She couldn't wait until he or she was dead.

Amira headed back to her ship and sat down in the pilot's seat. She slammed her fist angrily on the control panel. She had no clue what she was going to do! Just then a small compartment opened and a letter slid out. Amira leaned down and picked it up. On the front it had her name...and it was written in Mical's handwriting. She dropped the letter as if it were scalding hot. She had forgotten about this letter. She picked it up and began reading it.

_My Love,_

_The Council is sending me on a training mission with a couple of padawans so I will not be able to see you for a while. I do not have time to see you or give you this letter so I am leaving it here on the nightstand. I hate the fact that the Council continues to send us on these missions because every moment I spend away from you is torture. I love you more than the stars, the planets. I want you to know that I would choose you over the Republic, over millions, and gladly anyday. From the moment I met you, I have loved you and thought about you everyday. I know that I don't say it as often as I mean to so I want you to know that I do love you. I love you more than you can ever know. It is almost time for my departure so I will have to bid you farewell. I will be back in a couple of days. Perhaps we can catch up then._

_Forever Yours,_

_Mical_

Amira sat there, and as she read, tears began to fall from her eyes. This was the thing that Amira had prayed for. The one little connection to Mical. It made her intensely happy and sad at the same time. Mical had loved her...this note confirmed it. They had been so happy together, and Amira felt grief-stricken once again. She wanted to be with him again. This letter reminded her of the happier times. The times she got to spend with him.

"Once your killer is dead, Mical, I will be with you again. I promise." Amira whispered silently to herself.

**A/N: I want to take this time to thank everyone who has reviewed this far! It means a tremendous deal to me that you take the time out of your no doubt busy schedule to read and review my story. Thanks a bunch and keep reviewing!**


	18. Chapter 18:More Than One Choice

**A/N: As promised, this chapter is going to be set before Amira was a Jedi. I hope you enjoy! This chapter is dedicated to SanguineExile for all the awesome reviews I've recieved from you! I really do appreciate the reviews I recieve! Anyway, enjoy...the story is nearing it's end!**

**Disclaimer: I own Mical! I own Mical! I own Mical! Muahahahahaha!**

**Chapter 18: More Than One Choice**

_Amira stood watching her younger brother sleep. He was so serene when he was sleeping, she hated having to wake him but they were in danger if they continued to stay here. Their stepparents would awake in a few hours and they had to be long gone by then. Amira decided to wait a little longer, letting Luke sleep for a little longer. The eight-year-old girl continued to watch as her brother slept._

_Amira steadied her breathing. This was going to be difficult and dangerous...but if she didn't get Luke and herself out of this environment, they would eventually be killed. When they were only four, Amira and her brother were sent into the foster system. Unfortunately, they had been given to a family where the father was an alcoholic and abusive and the mother was shy, quiet, and lived in fear of her husband._

_It had been four years and she couldn't stand the beatings anymore. Her little brother deserved a lot better than this slum. That was where Amira came in. She had come up with a plan to get her brother out of harm's way. Amira hated how they treated both of her brother and her...she could take it, but Luke was younger than her and already had scars from the beatings._

_It wasn't right. Amira nudged her brother softly. He shifted in his sleep, but did not wake up. She nudged him harder and he opened his eyes reluctantly. The little dark-haired boy yawned and sat up, stretching his arms. Amira looked tenderly at the younger boy. She grabbed him in her arms and helped him stand up. He had several bruises on his legs due to last night's beatings and she knew he was still in pain._

_"Amira? What are we doing awake this early?" He asked innocently._

_"Sssh, you have to be very quiet. All right?" Amira reprimanded gently._

_"Okay, Ami. Why are you dressed and up this early though?" He asked._

_Amira smiled. "I'll explain everything later. You gotta trust me. Now we need to get you dressed." Amira answered as she began helping Luke get dressed._

_"We going somewhere?" Luke asked. Nothing was clear to him yet...he didn't know about the plan._

_"We're leaving, Luke. We're leaving and not coming back here." Amira explained quietly. "Now come one, I already got some food so you can eat on the way."_

_Amira grabbed Luke's hand and lead him to the door. She opened the door and quietly slipped out, Luke following her close behind. The night air was refreshing compared to the stuffy cramped quarters that was her room. Her brother looked nervous beside her and she flashed him a quick reassuring smile. Everything would turn out all right. They had managed to escape the house undetected and all that was left to do was book a passage off-planet. Amira had decided on the perfect place...the Jedi Temple on Coruscant._

_Amira had read a lot about Jedi, and she was fascinated by them. They were so amazing, and they were so perfect. Jedi couldn't do anything wrong and that's why Amira decided that it would be best to stay with them. They wouldn't harm her or her younger brother. Maybe she could even become a perfect Jedi like the one's she had read about. The thought alone excited her tremendously._

_"Ami, I'm cold." Luke whined._

_"Sorry, here take my jacket." Amira wrapped her jacket around Luke._

_"Thanks, Amira." He smiled and Amira smiled lovingly back._

_Luke was the only family that Amira had ever had. Amira loved him so much and would do anything to keep him safe, which was why they were running away in the first place. She couldn't watch her little brother being beat continuously due to the stupidity of her stepfather. Amira hated both her "parents" so much that sometimes her hate consumed her thoughts. She knew that it was bad to think bad thoughts about anyone, but she could not help it._

_After walking for several hours, they finally reached their destination. The star port was just up ahead. Amira's only worry was that she wouldn't have enough credits for the both of them. If that happened to be the case, she would send her brother to the Jedi and she would find another way off planet. The most important thing was getting Luke to safety. That was all that mattered to Amira._

_"Amira, are we going to leave the planet on a starship?" Luke asked excitedly._

_"Yes, we are. Just stick close to me, ok?" Amira said, gripping his hand tighter._

_The lights around were so bright that they blinded Amira at first because she had been walking in the dark for so long. Even though it was in the middle of the night, the star port was buzzing with activity. She walked up to the counter where she believed she would be able to buy some tickets off-planet. The man disregarded her for a moment before Amira finally cleared her throat signaling that she was here to buy tickets off-planet._

_"Yes? What do you want, little girl?" The man said._

_"I was wondering if I might be able to buy two tickets to Coruscant." Amira said, standing on her tiptoes to make herself appear taller._

_"And why would you be wanting to go to Coruscant?" He asked with an eyebrow raised._

_"Well, my brother and I want to join the Jedi." Amira answered proudly._

_The man laughed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, where are your parents?"_

_"We're running away!" Luke said before Amira could cover his mouth._

_"Oh, I see. Well, in that case, what is the name of your parents? Perhaps I can get you a discount." He said turning his back to them._

_Amira suddenly got a sick feeling in the pit of her gut. She gripped Luke's hand and began leading him away, but Luke didn't get the hint and released her hand and walked back up to the counter, peering over the top of it._

_"Jebadiah Rhoades." He said happily. He was happy to finally be able to help. He looked to Amira who had begun to pale._

_"Thanks, sir. But I think we'll just be leaving now..." Amira grabbed Luke's hand as the man started to dial a number on his wallphone._

_Suddenly, Amira knew that they had to get out of here...and fast. A sense of panic and urgency took over and she tried running to the entrance, Luke being dragged along behind her. But the doors weren't opening. They were sealed tight and Amira knew that the man had betrayed them. There was nowhere to escape to now._

_"Sorry, but you will be unable to leave until your parents come to get you. I have notified them and they are on their way here as we speak." He said with a fake smile._

_Amira gave him a sickened glance. "Luke, we need to get out of here. Do you see any place that you can crawl into?"_

_Luke scanned the area and shook his head. "Sorry, everything is locked. What's a matter, Ami?"_

_Amira looked to her little brother and a sense of dread filled her. Their parents were coming and then they would be in a lot of trouble. Amira began running to every door; all of them were locked. She sunk to the floor and put her head into her lap. Her plan had failed and now there was no escape. Luke walked over to her and sat next to her._

_"Mommy and Daddy are coming, aren't they?" He asked and Amira wiped away her tears and nodded. "Are we gonna be in trouble."_

_"Yes, Luke. But don't worry, I'm gonna protect you. I won't let them hurt you anymore, Luke." Luke snuggled closer to Amira._

_"I trust you, Ami." Amira heard the door swing open and a large man came fuming in._

_"Where are they?" He screamed._

_The man pointed and Jebadiah stormed over to them. Amira instinctively stepped in front of her brother but was struck so hard in the face that she blacked out. The last thing she saw was Luke's terrified face and she knew that she had failed him._

_When Amira awoke, she had a huge bruise on her face and cuts everywhere else. Her father had probably continued to beat her even after she had passed out. She immediately remembered Luke and she ran to his room. He wasn't in his bed. Amira ran to the family room and her father and mother were sitting on a couch. Jebadiah had his head in his hands and her mother was weeping._

_"Where's Luke?" Amira asked quietly._

_Her father didn't answer her and so she asked again. "He's dead."_

_"What? What happened?" Amira said as tears started to stream down her face._

_Her mother scooted farther away from her husband. Amira ran to her mom and snuggled close. She didn't like her mother all that much but she needed some comfort at the moment. "How did he die?"_

_"His heart stopped." Amira looked confused at him before she realized what had happened._

_"You killed him! You murderer!" She screamed angrily at him. She lunged at him and was met with another slap to the face. "I hate you! You killed my brother!"_

_Her father merely looked at her and shook his head. "You killed him. He died because of you and it will always be your fault."_

_"That...that's not true!" Amira cried and looked to her mother and she looked away. "I hate both of you!"_

_"And we hate you for killing our son!" Jebadiah thundered. "You're leaving. We're sending you to the Jedi so we never have to see your murderous face again."_

_Amira ran out of the room and curled herself into a ball in a corner. She had killed the brother she had loved? It wasn't possible...but it had been her idea to runaway. If they hadn't, Jebadiah wouldn't have beat Luke and mistakenly killed him. Amira cried for hours until two Jedi knights came to get her. For the rest of her life, Amira had to live with the guilt and the fact that she had killed the one person she had loved._

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"Is something the matter, Exile?" Zaalbar queried. "You are awfully quiet and something seems to be bothering you."

Amira moved another piece of who-knows-what around on her dish. "It...it's nothing. I just had a bad dream, that's all."

"I see...well, I find that talking about the dreams help heal the wound that they create." Zaalbar said wisely.

Amira sighed. "It's too hard to talk about him...even after all these years. But I suppose you would understand my pain, I know that you lost a brother and a father."

"Yes...it is true. I lost my father Freyrr several months ago. I still feel his loss." Zaalbar paused. "My brother...he is a difficult topic to discuss."

"I understand. Forget I said anything."

"I still wish to hear about your dream." the Chieftain said.

"When I was only a child, I lost my brother. My step-father beat him to death and then blamed me for his death." Amira said softly.

"You believe that it is your fault?"

"It was, in a sense. I talked him into running away with me and we got caught. I promised to protect him and instead...I killed him." Amira wiped her eyes as they threatened to release tears over long forgotten memories. "I was never able to avenge my little baby brother so I have to avenge Mical."

"You were close to this Mical?" Zaalbar asked softly. He knew how it was to lose a loved one and he knew how hard it was to be the cause of the loved one's death.

"Yes...very close." Amira sighed. "I failed him as well...and this time I have the chance to avenge him."

"I understand. Revenge doesn't always heal the pain, though. Most times, it makes the pain greater and more unbearable." Amira shook her head.

"I no longer care. The only thing I have left is revenge, Chieftain." Amira said, although she had a feeling that there was more that she had left than she knew.

"It is your choice, just remember that there always is more than one solution to the problem."

"You are very wise...but I do no agree with that statement." Amira said as she stood and headed back to her ship.

There was nothing left to do here on Kashyyyk, so Amira decided that she'd head to Telos. She needed to speak with Carth before she left to get her revenge. There were so many things that needed to be said to him. He was the only other person that could somewhat grasp Amira's pain. She ignited the engines and set the hyperspace coordinates. She was nearing the end of her search...soon her revenge would be exacted and her life would be complete. Amira grabbed her lightsaber and a small red crystal out of her pocket and placed it in the hilt.

The lightsaber glowed red...the exact color that would be the color of Mical's murderer's blood.

**A/N: Thanks for reading, please review!**


	19. Chapter 19:Shocking Revelations

**A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed so far! Thanks so much! Now you all are finally going to find out who killed Mical!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not even going to bother anymore. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 19: Shocking Revelations**

_Amira traced her hand on the edge of the windowsill lightly as she opened the window to get some fresh nighttime air. She grabbed a brush on her nightstand and begun to brush her hair out. It had been a long day and she was tired...yet her mind kept her awake. She couldn't sleep, not when he was so close. Amira could sense her husband in the next room over._

_Closing her eyes, she could see his chest rising and falling in synchronization with his breathing. Amira was content with using the Force to see Mical. She knew it wouldn't be possible to share a room with him while they were in the Enclave. Everyone already suspected, if they were caught together, that would just confirm the rumors. Amira sighed and opened her eyes, while continuing to brush her hair out._

_She was bored...bored and restless. There really wasn't anything to do this late at night other than enjoy the peace and quiet. Several iriaz ran pass her window, both racing the other across the open fields. They were carefree and had no worries. Amira yearned to be able to have no worries. The pressure of being a Jedi was intense, but Amira had chosen this life._

_When Amira took a step back and really looked at her life, she realized that she had a better life than most. The only thing she didn't like was being under such heavy rules and laws. Amira had never been one who was rebellious, but even she had to admit that it was difficult being under such heavy surveillance all the time. Jedi were never easy to fool and hiding her marriage with Mical was extremely difficult. But it was also worth it._

_There was a soft knock on the door. Amira put her brush down and walked quietly to the door. Opening it to reveal a blonde-haired man standing there._

_"Mica-er, Master Disciple? What are you doing up so late?" Amira said; she had to be careful talking with him. There were cameras everywhere and the Jedi were sometimes too observant for their own good._

_"I was wondering if we could...talk...about some matters?" Mical said, enunciating the word 'talk'._

_Amira smiled. "Of course, please come in."_

_The moment the door closed, Mical and Amira embraced passionately. Amira rested her head on his chest and breathed in deeply. Smiling, Mical brought Amira's chin up and kissed her again tenderly. She replied eagerly and kissed him more passionately, while running her fingers through his blonde hair. Mical placed his hands on her hips and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she leaned in further for the kiss._

_Amira broke the kiss, "Force, you shouldn't tempt a desperate woman, Mical. It's not nice."_

_Mical kissed her again. "I don't have to be nice all the time, do I?"_

_"Force, I hope not." She laughed and leaned closer to him._

_"I couldn't sleep. I was a bit...bored. So I decided to drop by." Amira raised an eyebrow._

_"So you're looking for some fun?" Amira said, her voice dripping with lust._

_"Actually, I did need to talk to you." Mical said as Amira laughed._

_"Yeah, that's what I figured. Can't it wait?" She said as she kissed him vehemently._

_"Well..." Mical said hesitantly._

_Mical cupped Amira's face in his hands and looked compassionately into her eyes. She smiled, and he smiled back at her. Amira never could have imagined being married to a more perfect man. Mical was respectful, trustworthy, and extremely loving and compassionate. She loved him so much...and she knew that he loved her back. Mical wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tighter to him._

_"Didn't you say that we should do something to celebrate my return?" Amira said while playing with a wisp of his hair._

_"I believe I did say something of that sort, didn't I?" Mical swung her around a couple times. "Now, what is it that you would like to do?"_

_Amira laughed. "Hmmm, I'm alone in a room with my loving husband, of which I haven't seen in about a month, and it's dark. Let's see...what would I like to do?"_

_Even though it was dark, Amira could see Mical's cheeks heating up. She laughed again and kissed him vigorously, savoring each kiss. _

_"I see, well, in that case-" Mical lifted Amira up in his arms and kissed her on her forehead. "I am yours to command, my love."_

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For once since Mical's death, she felt more at peace and happy...with the exception of feeling sick most mornings. She figured it was just the flu or some type of passing cold so she took no notice to it. She remembered that she had a meeting with Admiral Onasi and quickly changed into some dark robes. She looked at herself in the mirror and noticed her skin was slightly paler than before. The darkside was beginning to change her appearance.

Amira grabbed her lightsaber and hooked it onto her belt. She casually walked out of her room and down towards Citadel Station's main apartment complex. The rooms there were a lot more comfortable than her own room and were mainly for high-ranking official's use. Which would explain why Admiral Onasi resided there. Amira turned a corner and suddenly felt slightly weak, and she felt sick again.

Taking a couple deep breaths, Amira managed to regain her posture and continued on towards the Admiral's room. She felt a headache coming on but decided that it was nothing and continued to press forward. Amira finally reached the door and it slid open, as she approached it. Carth stood inside staring out at a window, absent-mindedly.

Amira cleared her throat. "Admiral?"

"Yes...oh, Amira. It's you." Carth said, his eyes were red and it looked as if he hadn't shaved this morning.

Amira could sense all the pain within him. She recognized a lot of it as well. That could only mean one thing, but Amira could not dare to even try and say it. "Carth, I have come to let you know that I'm going after Mical's killer and if you find someone with any information at all...let me know."

"I will do what I can to help...although, at the moment, I do not think it will be very much nor very sufficient." Carth stated sadly.

"Carth-" Amira began.

"She's gone, Amira." Carth said as he sighed angrily. "I should've been there, Amira. I shouldn't have let her go out there..."

Now Amira could hear the anguish and guilt in Carth's voice. She could also hear his heart. It was crying and she knew that only one thing could have happened to make Carth's heart weep like that.

"Revan." Amira stated more than asked.

"They...they found her body on Nar Shaddaa." Carth said, continuing to gaze out to the stars. "I failed her, Amira. I failed her."

Amira stumbled back and took a seat. "Are they sure it's her?"

"They sent a picture to me of the body. I confirmed it...I confirmed that Revan...that Revan was gone." Carth's said as he rubbed his forehead tenderly.

"Oh Carth...I'm so sorry." Amira said sincerely.

"Me too. But sorry isn't going to change anything, is it?" Carth said bitterly.

Both of them stood in silence until Amira finally spoke up. "Carth...how did she die?"

"Lightsaber wound to the back. She didn't even get a chance to act." Amira could see the anger and hate rolling off of the Admiral.

"Carth-" She began again.

"Dismissed. I will do what I can to aid you, but now it's time for your departure. I just need some time alone." Amira nodded and she left quietly.

The whole way back to her room, Amira's mind was cluttered with so many different thoughts, memories, and ideas. Then her mind began to focus...and the memories began to clear. Amira leaned against a wall as the memories came flashing back, each one vivid and so realistic. Amira tried to take some breaths...but it was no use, and she blacked out...

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_Amira watched all the events of Mical death play out in front of her once again. Mical again stumbled out of the brush, bleeding. Amira watched herself run over to him and try to heal and save him. The darkness around them was beginning to grow more and more intense...Amira looked around and noticed nothing at first glance. There was nothing but darkness and trees, bushes, and silence._

_Amira focused harder and the image began to clear...the trees began to disappear and the bushes began to burn away. The darkness began turning into light and a lone figure stood behind the last tree that was there. A face peered around it and smiled sadistically. He stood there and Amira stumbled back and fell to the ground. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible!_

_The figure was robed in black and continued to stand behind the safety of the tree and watch as an innocent man died. Amira looked at the man with disgust. She wished that this wasn't a memory, but that she was here again so she could kill that man. That man that had brought her so much pain and agony. She knew that he probably had something to do with Revan's death as well._

_Lightning struck and lit up the sky, casting the man's face into light. Amira had no doubts who it was now. She felt like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. It was painfully obvious who it was. Amira's eyes began to water and she cried out at the man._

_"Why! Why!" She screamed angrily. But the man did not hear her._

_"Stay with me, Mical!" Amira could hear her own voice speaking desperately._

_Amira shook her head and locked the image in her mind. It would be useful to fuel her anger, hate, and lust for revenge._

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Amira awoke and uttered one name with complete hatred. "Atton."

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! The next chapter will be the finale! Hope you enjoy!**


	20. Chapter 20:The End Becomes the Beginning

**A/N: Alright, the moment you've all been waiting for! The final chapter is here! This chapter is dedicated to my mother who helped proof read this final chapter and gave me a couple awesome ideas along the way! Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter and please review! There will be a sequel so look for that!**

**Disclaimer: I own Mical...and that's final.**

**Chapter 20: The End Becomes the Beginning**

Sweat trickled down Amira's brow. She had been searching for days, and there still was no sign of Atton Rand. Carth had told her that he had received an anonymous tip that said where Atton was last seen. So Amira had decided to take a chance on that tip and head to Ansion. Now here she was running down a muddied trail in search of the man who killed her husband.

The last three villages she had stopped at had no clues and no one had even seen Atton. Amira was starting to lose hope, and that was the last thing Amira needed to lose at the moment. Amira could still hardly believe the revelation she had received. Atton Rand, her friend, her ally, had betrayed her and brutally murdered her husband. It was almost unfathomable. She couldn't believe it, nor did she want to believe it.

Atton was the last person that she felt she had some real connection to. He was like a brother to her, and Amira loved him. The only question that remained was could Amira kill someone that she loved? Then she remembered that he had killed Mical, who she had loved more than herself, more than anything in the galaxy. Her path, which had been clear and simple, was now undecided and fraught with trouble.

She leaned against a tree for support as she tried to catch her breath. The pace she had been going at was gruesome...and she honestly didn't know how much longer she could keep it up. The feeling of sickness washed over her again, but she managed to keep it contained and continued on. Night was approaching and she was still pretty far from the next town.

Amira shook her head; this had been such a foolish plan. What did she expect to accomplish by going alone? Then she thought that maybe Carth's tip was false and was just a way to lead her to the wrong place. Atton may never have even visited here! Her heart rate spiked and she started breathing harder. She had trained as a Jedi since she was young, she should be able to take this much physical abuse to her body, yet she was extremely tired and could barely stay awake.

Black spots crawled at the edge of her vision, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to go any farther. The last thing she saw as she blacked out was the bottom of someone's robes and a cane.

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When she awoke, she was in a warm, nicely lit cabin. It smelled like something good was cooking as well. Amira looked around and noticed nothing out of the ordinary; it looked like someone's home. The only question that remained was how did she get here? She moaned and sat up; her legs were weak so she decided to just sit there. Hopefully, she would regain all of her strength soon.

"Oh, it is good to see you are awake, dearie." A gentle voice said from behind her.

Amira whirled around and saw an old lady standing behind her; she had a cup of what looked like soup in her hands. "Who are you?"

"My name is of no consequence, but you may call me Hannah, if you wish. You should take it easy, it would seem you had quite a day yesterday." She said while nodding.

"Hannah, how did I get here...and where is here, anyway?" Amira said, still confused.

"Worry not, my dear. You are safe. Here have some soup." She said as she stuffed the bowl of soup into Amira's hands. "So what were you doing out there in the middle of nowhere anyway?"

"I was searching for-" Amira noticed then that the elder lady had her eyes covered by a cloth. "Are you a miraluka?"

"Yes...I believe that is what they called my race. I hear that my home planet was destroyed. It's a pity really." She said sadly.

"So you are a seer, correct?" She asked, a pang of hope leapt into her heart.

"Yes, dearie. I can see through the Force, if that is what you mean." She laughed. "Although I haven't done that in years. I prefer to stumble around with my cane...it proves more adventurous. And they give discounts at restaurants!"

Amira smiled at the kindly old woman. "Do you think that you would be able to help me find someone, a man to be certain?"

"Of course, dearie, it would be my pleasure." The kind woman took a seat near Amira. "I have to ask though, who is this man you're looking for and why do you want to find him so bad?" Hannah asked curiously.

Amira hesitated at first. She couldn't tell the old lady that she was searching for Atton to kill him; she doubted the Hannah would help her if that were the case. So she lied. "I am looking for my Fiancé. He was suppose to meet me here but I can't seem to find him."

The older woman smiled. "Ahhh, I remember being in love. Those were good times...good times..."

"So...do you think you can help me?" Amira asked cautiously.

"Oh yes, of course I can. He shouldn't be hard to find, anyway." Amira took a sip of her soup. "So is he the father?"

Amira spat her soup out right onto her robe. "Pardon me?" she choked.

"I was wondering if your fiancé is the father of your child? You are expecting, are you not?" She said warmly.

Amira felt her heart leap into her throat. "Are you saying that I'm...that I'm pregnant?"

"Why yes, dearie! You have that glow around you." She paused. "You didn't know?"

"Are you sure? You must be mistaken..." Amira could not believe it. She was pregnant...with Mical's child?

"Oh, I am never wrong. Haven't you been feeling ill as of late?" She asked.

Amira thought back to before Mical died...then she thought back to all those times recently when she was feeling sick. It all made sense. Everything connected. She was pregnant...this was the purpose she had been looking for. The purpose to continue to live. This also meant that she had to be extremely careful now, before she was willing to risk her life...but she couldn't risk her child's. Color began to creep back into Amira's face.

"Actually, I have been feeling sick." She admitted.

The older woman chuckled. "I told you...I'm never wrong. I also know that it will be a strong child, a strong and healthy child."

Tears sprang to Amira's eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much!"

"For what, dearie? I merely told you that you were with child." Hannah said, still smiling.

"Oh yes, of course. We should probably try and find-" She said, blushing. The woman didn't know it but she had given Amira her life back.

"Yes...let me see." Hannah put her hands together and Amira could sense the Force swirling around her. This woman was strong in the Force, but the Force was untamed within her.

"Do you seem him?" Amira whispered.

"Grab my hand, dearie, it will take both of us to find him." Amira grabbed her hand and it was as if she had entered a new world. Planets flew past them until they were in empty space...and then they were on a wild planet. A planet with not much life...just a lot of darkness. Amira immediately knew where they were. They were on Csilla. The planet where it began...would be the planet where it ended.

Amira let go of her hand and everything disappeared; they were back in the old little cabin. The miraluka took a breath and sighed. Amira could see how much energy it had taken out of the older woman. She felt awful for placing the woman under such stress, so she placed her hands on the woman's hands.

"Thank you, you have helped me more than you know." The Force flowed between them easily and the woman's energy returned. "I will return the favor one day."

"Don't bother, my dear. It was my pleasure." Hannah stated as Amira prepared to head back to her ship and leave for Csilla.

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Amira could feel the darkness on this planet. It was almost overwhelming. The darkness pleaded and begged Amira to surrender to all its devastating power, but Amira ignored the pathetic attempts to sway her from the path of the light. She had almost lost herself once; she would not do so again. She touched her stomach gently...she would not fail. This child depended on her success.

Her steps echoed loudly as she continued on her way to the spot where Mical was wounded. Atton was on this planet. She could feel it. She was also certain that he could most likely feel her presence as well. This meant she had to be ready for anything, and she was. Her whole life was now boiling down to this moment. The moment that would determine her and her child's fate.

Part of her screamed to run back to the ship and leave this dreadful planet, but she knew that if she did, and Atton was still alive, she and her child would be forever in danger. All of her emotions battled each other inside of her, each trying to become the dominant, but hatred won over all of them. The hatred for Atton that now burned within her like a raging fire. Like Mical's funeral pyre.

Everywhere around her was silent, there was no movement, and no sound. It was a lot like the day Mical was wounded. _Oh, my sweet Mical...I wish the price of my failure had not been so high. I am doing this for you, for our child._ Amira thought sadly. This was her last chance to make things right. Atton would die on this planet, she was certain of it.

Atton. The man who had once been one of her closest friends, one of the few people that Amira admired and loved, had now become her enemy. The enemy that she would strike down no matter what. He had his chance to be redeemed...and he had wasted it on murdering Mical. The drowning man had now become the drowning enemy; the one that she would let drown, or hold him under until he did drown.

There was suddenly movement all around her and a bunch of Sith assassins stepped from the brush. Amira's lightsaber was in her hand and ignited before she even could think about it. The red blade cast an eerie glow across the masked faces of the Sith. They walked up to her and kneeled down, as they had done before at the Trayus Academy. This time she was taking no chances.

Before any of the Sith had a chance to react, Amira put them all in a stasis field and decapitated each. Someone knew that she was here. She silently walked away from the corpses. She would show no mercy to anyone today...anyone who tried to stop her would face his or her own death. Amira frowned at her conclusion. She prayed that she would not turn into the very thing that she swore to destroy.

Amira ran for a couple minutes before she noticed that she was being followed, she didn't know by whom, but she was determined to not let them get the upper hand and ambush her. Slipping into the shadows of a massive tree she used the Force to make a sound off far to her right, after that she continued on until she finally found the place that she was looking for.

Her hair whipped around her face madly as the wind began to pick up. Rain started to pour down from the clouds and Amira could sense a man approaching. _Atton._ She thought bitterly. He was close...and she knew that he was coming towards her. He knew she was here...and he knew that he was in danger. Amira smiled...it was so close to ending. Atton's death would bring her the peace she was desperate for.

The dark-haired man stepped out of the brush and stood in front of her. He wasn't the Atton that she remembered. His face was now pale, and bright purple veins could be seen. He had changed; the darkside had changed him. Atton's hands were on his two lightsabers. Amira knew that Atton was gone; there would be no way to redeem him this time, which validated her reason to kill him. Amira then had a frightening thought.

She had failed her brother, Mical, and now Atton. They were all people that she had loved and they had all been lost to her. Everything that she hungered for, whether to protect or help or love would be gone. This was her fate...a fate that Amira never asked for. But Amira would no longer allow fate to control her life, she would fight with all her heart to protect this child.

"Amira, I knew you'd come. It was only a matter of time." Atton said, his voice dark.

"Why, Atton? Why did you betray me?" She asked, and she found that her voice was quaking slightly.

"Betray you? No, Amira, it was you who betrayed me." He sneered. "I loved you and you...you chose him!"

"I did love you, Atton. I loved you like a brother, nothing more." She paused. "And now...now I _hate_ you. I hate you, Atton Rand." Amira said with pure hatred. This man had caused her so much pain...and now he would die. It was a satisfying answer.

"Don't make me kill you, Amira." Atton said with his back to her. His lightsabers were already in his hand and ignited. The red blades cast shadows across the ground.

"You sealed your fate the moment you struck down Mical." Amira grabbed her own lightsaber and ignited it. "Now...you will pay for that crime with your life."

Atton noticed her red blade. "Ahhh, so my Master was right. You have fallen, Amira. You were always weak."

"That is where you are wrong, Atton. The red crystal in my blade will be removed once I kill you. Right now...it symbolizes how you are to me, just another enemy. You are nothing more than dirt beneath my feet. It signifies how I will show you no mercy like a Sith. And the red coloring? It will be the color that the ground will become once your blood is spilt over it." Amira said, letting the threat hang in the air.

The tension between the two was immense and continuing to build. The silence was deafening as the two former companions faced each other. Each holding their blade pointed towards the other. Trusting friends had now become bitter enemies. Anger and fear shown in Atton's eyes. Amira was surprised that he had the strength to even face her. The Atton she had once known would most likely have run. The Atton she had once known...no longer existed.

Atton shook his head. "Mical's death was necessary."

Amira looked at him with disgust. "Necessary? Atton...I _loved_ him! If you had truly loved me, you would have left Mical and I alone." Amira cried.

"Why did you choose him, Amira? You were supposed to love _me_!" Atton said back angrily.

"The time for words and talking is over, Atton. I don't care what your excuse is...you killed an innocent man! And his blood will forever be on your hands!" Amira yelled at him as tears spilled down and over her cheeks.

"Then you will die, Amira. If you choose to fight, you will lose and you will die." Atton said; Amira could hear some regret in his voice, but she would show no pity.

"I'm already dead, Atton. You didn't just kill Mical that day; you killed me. My heart died that day, Atton. And for that...I will always hate you." Amira said bringing her lightsaber up and into an offensive position.

"Goodbye, Amira." Atton said confidently as he made a leap and began to attack Amira.

Atton attacked Amira's side but she blocked it and turned around blocking another blow to her back. Atton was trying to flank her. Amira twirled her lightsaber and began a flurry of attacks that caught Atton by surprise but he quickly recovered and managed to block every blow. Their lightsabers moved every which way, in a flurry of red light.

Amira and Atton continued their deadly, daring duel almost as if it were a dance. The hum of the lightsabers drowned out every other sound including their own rapid breathing. Amira dodged a blow to her right and nicked Atton's shoulder with an uppercut. Amira threw her hand out and sent Atton flying into a nearby tree. Using the Force, Amira jumped and kicked Atton in the face with her heel.

Atton rolled out of the way just as Amira's lightsaber came crashing down. Atton laughed and threw his hand out freezing Amira in a stasis. Just as Atton went in for the kill, Amira broke out of her stasis and rolled to the side slashing at Atton's leg as she went down onto the ground roughly. A drop of blood rolled down out of Amira's mouth, that last hit to her side had done some serious damage.

Amira focused on the wound and healed it briefly; she didn't have a lot of time before Atton was up and again attacking her ferociously. The two were locked in a combat that neither would truly win. If Atton won, then Amira, whom he had loved would die. If Amira won, she would become the very thing she had come to destroy, and Atton, whom she had loved like her own brother, would be dead.

Atton's fist came roughly into Amira's face sending her sprawling to the ground. Her lightsaber rolled across the ground and Atton's foot came on it, nearly crushing it. He smiled triumphantly before noticing Amira's amused look. Her hand went out calmly and the lightsaber rolled right into it, sending Atton to the ground. Amira finally had the opening that she had been looking for. She quickly re-ignited her lightsaber and ran it through Atton. But it did nothing, only sent a shimmering field of blue around him.

"A shield? You cheater!" She screamed at him, frustrated.

"Hey, no one said I had to play fair." Atton said sending lightning shooting from his fingertips.

The attack caught Amira of guard and she was hit with the full impact of the energy. She quickly got up, but held her side gingerly. She didn't know how much more she could take. Atton went to finish her off with a downward blow but it was blocked by Amira's red blade. They pushed against each other's blade for a couple intense moments before releasing and being thrown back.

Amira was the first one up and charged Atton, using every technique she knew...nothing worked. She had trained Atton and had taught him everything she knew. She had never anticipated having to fight him. It was like fighting herself. And to add to the difficulty, Atton was being fueled by the darkness of the planet. The darkside was assisting him in the battle.

Atton hesitated and Amira went in for the kill, but it had been a ploy for Amira to drop her guard. And the ploy had worked perfectly. Atton dodged Amira's attack and turned, slicing Amira's wrists just enough to make her drop her lightsaber. Amira cried out in pain and then collapsed to the ground. She held her wrist gently and tried to heal it but Atton was already there.

The luminescent glow of the red lightsaber brightened Amira's face. The saber was so close; she could feel the heat emanating from it. She had failed. This had been her last chance to set everything right...and she had failed. She had failed Luke, she had failed Mical, and she had failed herself and her child. Amira looked up at Atton in fear and Atton just smiled wickedly, knowing he had won.

Amira waited for that final blow, the blow that would end her life, her child's life, and would make everything she had fought for be in vain. Tears slid down Amira's cheeks. She wasn't afraid to die any longer. She had been dying a little bit each day after Mical had died. Amira continued to wait for the blow...but the final blow never came. Instead, a figure jumped out of the shadows and blocked Atton's final attack.

Surprise and anger appeared on Atton's face as he battled this new opponent. The robed figure fought in a fluid, and almost graceful, way. The orange blade clashed with the red one sending sparks in many directions. Amira tried to get up but could not manage the strength. She was so tired and weak. She feared for her child's life...this had been stupid. She should have left Atton alone and went to raise her child. But instead she had risked both their lives; she hoped the price would not cost both of their lives.

The battle between Atton and the robed stranger continued until Atton lunged in a desperate attempt to kill the stranger, tripped, and fell right into the opponent's lightsaber. Amira watched as Atton stumbled back, holding his stomach. The hooded figure caught him as he fell. Atton looked up into the face of his attacker and slowly smiled.

And with his last and final breath, Atton Rand muttered, "Figures."

The stranger stood up and walked over to Amira. Amira scooted away from the robed stranger in fear at first, but then he held out his hand. Amira figured that the person was on her side so Amira took the hand reluctantly, and was helped up. The person removed the hood and Amira stumbled backwards in pure shock and confusion. It was impossible...

"Mical?"

**_To be continued ..._**


	21. Deleted Scenes

**A/N: Here are two deleted scenes that I had originally wrote for the below chapters. Each is the reality part and the flashback stayed the same for both. So feel free to read these two deleted scenes and ENJOY! I'll be starting on the sequel soon! Oh, and review!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah...I own nothing.**

_**DELETED SCENES!**_

**Chapter 7: The Darkside Takes Control**

Tears spilled over her cheeks like a river trickling through a quiet brook. The memories continued to grow stronger and stronger each night. Force, she wanted him back so bad. She longed for him with every fiber of her being. She could not accept his death...she never would be able to. Amira felt as if there was a part in her heart that was empty. Broken.

She could not live without him. He had been her life...she had chosen him over her duty as a Jedi. She chose him once; she would do it again and gladly. The day before she had gone over most of the events that had led to his death, even as she probed her mind for the information...she could not remember who had killed him. That frustrated her to no ends. All she wanted was a clue, a hint as to who murdered her love.

All would be set right...she would see that it did. Amira would have justice for Mical. The person who was responsible for all her pain would suffer and then would die...slowly and painfully. She would hold them by the throat and watch as they died. It was her only thought and goal now. She was prepared to do anything that was required of her to get her revenge.

Time was now constantly against her. Every minute that passed, Mical's murderer got farther away. She began biting her nails nervously; it had always been such an awful habit. She realized that she had no plan...she _needed_ a plan. Without a plan, there would be no way to find the murderer. She needed to start thinking logically and analytically.

"Perhaps I need help...perhaps I need someone's assistance." She said to herself quietly.

_You don't need anyone's help. The last time someone tried to help...your husband ended up dying. Do you want a repeat performance of that? I didn't think so. What you need is information. The holocrons in the archives will have the information you seek._

"The holocrons are off limits to non-Jedi Council members. I can't access the Jedi holocrons..." she answered herself back.

_I didn't say Jedi holocrons...you need the Sith holocrons. With them you will be able to achieve knowledge and power far greater than an average Jedi and with that power and knowledge you will be able to hunt down the killer. That is what you want, isn't it?_ Amira nodded to herself. It made perfect sense, and she had given up arguing with the dark voice in her head a while ago. She would attain the holocron..._and you will get your revenge._

Amira grabbed her lightsaber and attached it loosely to her belt. She would get the holocron...no matter what the cost. She walked stealthily towards the library archives. Once there, Amira quietly stole the one holocron she would need. The darkside holocron. They had found it on Korriban and they knew immediately, due to its dark aura, that dangerous knowledge resided within it.

On her way back, the worst possible thing happened. She ran into Selena. _You must do whatever needs to be done. Show no mercy..._

"Good evening, Master Darrah. What were you doing in the library?" Selena asked innocently. "Is...is that a Sith holocron?"

Amira turned away. This girl was in more danger than she knew.

"What are you going to do with it? You aren't planning on using it, are you? You can't use it if you...are...lightside." Selena noticed the darkness in Amira's eyes. "What's wrong? What has happened?"

"Go." Amira said in a dangerous tone. _She is a threat, a liability. You must destroy her. She will threaten your plan. Mical's killer will go free._

Selena froze. "You...you are still a Jedi, right?"

Amira looked around, panicked. _There is no one around. No one will know. If you want to access the information, you must fall to the darkside. It is the only way that you will find any peace._ "I am sorry."

Selena's face was that of a frightened kinrath pup. "What? No...Master Darrah!"

What Amira remembered about her fall was that it was...silent. It had built up slowly...and she didn't resist. All the way to the library, all the way into the hall...and when she met up with Selena...it was silent. She might have had a few traitorous thoughts as she stood there in front of the young and innocent girl. But they too...were silent. She would always remember that day. The most silent day of her life...the only sound that was made that Amira heard during that day was the sound of her lightsaber igniting and the sound of Selena's terrified screams.

The darkside was now in control. She _would _have her revenge...and she was doing this all for him.

**Chapter 11: Surprise Reunion**

The constant ticking of the clock was her only companion as she lie awake in the dark of night. Her thoughts revolved mainly on that dream. She knew that something had been wrong. Mical had been worried about something, but at the time, she didn't care too much. She had just been so happy to be with him again. Now she wondered what he had been worried about. Perhaps he had known something that could have changed his fate.

Again, she felt the weight of his death pressed upon her shoulders. This was getting annoying, she should be able to get a decent night sleep but she couldn't due to these dreams. No matter what anyone told her, she knew that the dreams were clues; they would lead her to the killer. That was alls he could think of. Revenge. She prayed that the revenge would give her the peace she hungered for.

There was a small beeping at the door. Amira would have recognized it anywhere.

"T3!" She ran and opened the door quickly, revealing a two foot tall astromech droid.

"Beep-bwoop!" T3-M4 said happily.

"Where have you been? Who brought you here? The last time I saw you was when Bao-" Amira then noticed the Iridonian-Zabrak standing behind T3.

"Good to see you too, General." Bao-Dur said with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

"Hey! I didn't know you arrived! I thought you were still on Telos, helping the Ithorians." Amira said, surprised.

"I was. I came back." Bao-Dur noticed the messy bed. "Restless night?"

"Oh...that. Yeah, I haven't been sleeping well." Amira said, brushing aside the comment. "How have you been doing? It looks like you've taken good care of T3."

"Yup. I did my best to make sure the little guy stayed in perfect condition." Bao-Dur said.

"Bwoooooooooo." T3 said sadly.

"Yes, I miss him too." The sadness in Amira's voice was obvious.

"Hey, General?" Bao asked quietly. "If you ever need to...talk...about anything, let me know."

"Of course." Amira said thankfully. "I always appreciate the help and consideration, Bao."

"Anytime, General."


End file.
